What I Am Afraid Of

What am I afraid of? They asked me this question and it opened a world of unknown territory, or in fact, territory I completely avoided because as a man, I’m not afraid of anything. Right? But not true. There are many fears I have and often they tie me down and keep me from making progress.

For one, I’m afraid of dying. Why? I have no idea. I actually believe in life beyond this world and that as energy, we’re infinite and immortal, but beyond this world- what lies ahead? The unknown worlds in the afterlife are the source of my fear of dying. But why?

Another simple thing I’m afraid of is not being good enough. Not being a good enough father, husband, trainer, business owner.. writer. The feeling however pushes me past the roadblocks of which usually halt others steps when they have fear. I accept this fear as silly but indeed real. The only thing that will make me not good enough, is believing I’m not and allowing that belief to concrete my journey in place.

Being afraid of many things is normal. Some people fear the thoughts others have of them. Some, like me, are afraid of making videos. Just this week I’ve accepted the fear, stepped over it, and made one everyday for the past 6 days. Maybe I’m the kind of person who is afraid of horror movies. Not because they’re scary and I don’t know what’s coming, but again as a man, I’m afraid of being laughed at if I jump as I’m startled. Why do we care about what others think of us so much?

Is it acceptable to you that I tell you I’m vulnerable just like all of us? So what if I jump. Should you laugh or just simply jump with me? I’m afraid of walking into a zombie apocalypse. Should one exist and become a reality, what would I do? Would I be able to survive and protect my family? Who knows. The fact is.. these fears all steam from one place..

The unknown.

We can turn a corner in downtown Manhattan and run into a roaring lion who’s ready for blood. Drooling for dinner with his mighty eyes glued to you. Run. But am I fast enough? We can order a salad from the local diner and find a lizard’s head. What would I do? Scream like a girl or throw up?

Fear sticks with us everywhere we go. It’s not knowing the unknown that suffocates our actions and paralyzes us. I’m afraid of meeting new people. Will I stumble my words? Will they hate me because I’m partially Italian? Will I not seem to them, competent enough for conversation?

It’s silly for us to think about it but important enough that we have to. We have to walk away from the fear that locks us in our self designed and guarded cages and accept that it’s real and okay. Nobody walking the world has ever done so without fear. Even the toughest of the tough are crippled with fear. Lying about it is dumb. Accepting it is purposeful.

Don’t allow those quirks of fear to keep you from imagining the unexplored worlds in the deepest caverns of your mind. Stand proud that you’re alive, for fear is the surest way to realize this isn’t a dream.

One thought on “What I Am Afraid Of

  1. Pingback: How to Write Without Always Making List Posts | Michael Corona

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