What Is Relentless Self-Love?


Today I was listening to my favorite podcast, The Joe Rogan Experience, with Joe Rogan and the guest of this episode Aubrey Marcus and Aubrey Marcus started talking about a concept he got from Don Miguel Ruiz, author of The Four Agreements. This concept was self-love, also known as self-compassion and Aubrey talked about the need for a relentless self-love and how it will help us live our best life.

What does relentless self-love mean? It means, in my opinion, that when we have a high standard of self-love we’ll do things that other people won’t. That we’ll do the hard stuff to improve our lives. We’ll work harder in the gym, at work, with our family, and the high standard of self-love we embrace helps us push through those difficult areas.

The meaning of self-love can be shown through the levels of appreciation that we have for ourselves, for our actions, for our circumstances, and for our improvement.

For me, I can see there are definitely areas in my life where my standards of self-love need to rise. There are areas that I hold negative beliefs and other areas where I can see I’m not trying hard enough. For example, the way I practice Jiu Jitsu is not up to par with my standards. I train a few times a week and make excuses to not train more. Some days I can make the time to go, but I make the excuses not to go. This is ridiculous and does nothing good for my mind or body, or Jiu Jitsu. If I want to improve and get better, I need to train more.

In my writing, I don’t try hard enough. If you’ve ever tried to write anything you know how difficult it is. People think writing is easy and I’ll tell you after five books and hundreds of blog posts and hundreds of deleted posts and journal entries, it’s not. But that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try hard enough. Last year I set a daily action of writing at least one hundred and fifty words. How can I ever expect to improve if I write only one hundred and fifty words? That’s silly. I set my standards too low and it helped me find excuses to NOT sit down and write. The belief of writing is hard became much stronger than the truth that if I just sit and write, it won’t be as hard.

Working out in the gym the past year was not up to par with my standards either. I found many reasons to skip workouts. I made excuses to not stay later after classes and get a workout in. I decided that my excuses were more powerful than my love of fitness. There I was pushing people harder than they have ever been pushed in a gym and I was skipping days without a workout. How can that show self-love if I was treating my body wrong? No matter the reasons or excuses, I failed myself, nobody else. When we have a relentless self-love, we stay later in the gym and do the burpees or carries we don’t want to do. When we have the relentless self-love we wake up the hour earlier to get in the gym. When the body says no more, the mind says let’s GO! At the restaurant, the relentless self-love says two mozzarella sticks is better than six, or better yet, let’s skip the appetizer and get water instead.

Having a relentless self-love will take you further down the road than a kind of sort of self-love. When the tough gets going, the tough dig their heels in and get to work. Right now, my kids are sleeping and I want to badly drop my face down right into the couch and catch some snoozes, but I’m practicing that relentless self-love by getting my writing done. Even though I’d rather be sleeping, I’m writing. That is the kind of relentless self-love needed to make progress, change, and improvement.

A relentless self-love is focused on the obvious, self. That means we don’t compare our lives to others. We don’t challenge ourselves to invoke a response from another. We do it for our own well-being. A relentless self-love spends time learning the things we don’t understand, like meditation or finances, or fitness. We invest in ourselves and we have a strong compassion for all the good and bad that creates who we are. A relentless self-love lets go of that which does not improve the moment of our life.

When Will The Madness Stop?

Bruce Jenner was named the Woman of the Year from some magazine that got the world and it’s bored little minds and stanky panties in a twist. The filthy media that feeds on the mindlessness of society makes horseshit matters a big deal and the world screams as if they were saying “Stop the madness!’ and they are, but nobody cares. We want the craziness to stop. We protest for this or that and write endless tirades of why GMO is bad or why transgender people can’t be considered women or men or human. We post memes in the name of goodness but that feed on the negative energy of the world.

You want the madness to stop? It’s simple really but it will turn your world around and leave you uncomfortable without shoes. You want the madness to stop? Ask yourself if you’re willing to walk away from the simplicity of the bullshit we’re fed each day. Well, are you? Can you do your part in the game of life?

There is a complicated but straightforward way we can stop the madness.


Speak with your wallet silly mongols.

We cry for the animals slaughtered by the millions and caged and injected with nastiness and tied to posts unable to move, but then we shop at the local grocery and eat their meat. Laughing and singing and sharing stories of life while we’re hypocritical of our beliefs. Why do we act so stupid?

We rail against GMO and Trump and then we vote with our wallets as we buy genetically modified foods and don’t show up on voting day. We’re tired of the corporations controlling America and the media and yet we shop through those corporations like drones, zombies, children unable to logically think.

When will the madness stop?

It’ll stop when we vote with our dollars and stop supporting the human industrial madness we sheepishly bought into. It’ll stop when we go back to the drawing board for a more simplistic lifestyle and let our ego desire for materialism subside into the darkness that pollutes our beautiful country.

The problem is, you won’t do your part. I don’t do my part. Why should we? It’s easy to act in line with the rest of the crowd. It’s easy to fill our bellies with bullshit. It’s easy to put on the mask of the sheep and not the mask of our authentic being.

It’s hard to actually stop the madness once it’s injected straight into the veins of the ego. Like the strongest dose of pure Afghan heroin it fills your blood with convenience and laziness and a lack of critical thinking. The addiction is born and it’s running wild like boxcar hobos. The pure ecstasy of turning a blind eye on the truth is powerful. It’s strong enough to run the machine into the ground and leave nothing behind.

When will the madness stop?

It’ll stop when we realize how insane we really are.

Don’t Live the Unlived Life

C.G. Jung once said that nothing has a stronger influence on a child than the unlived life of a parent and, in my opinion, the unlived life of anyone is devastating to our psyche. Today and for the past century we have been caught in a trap of the way we live life. For many people we grow up with parents who are hard working. They stress daily to be able to provide food, shelter, clothing, transportation, and if we’re lucky a week vacation once a year to the shore or somewhere they love.  As time goes on we get caught in a cycle of the same monotonous routines. We wake every morning to prepare ourselves for work and many of us go to places we hate going. Our jobs are boring. We’re unfulfilled in the office or on the road. We’re tired of work that doesn’t matter to who we are inside. But, in order to afford the life we choose, we must continue to work. Keep your head down, do as you’re told, go beyond what is asked of you- even if it kills you, and then come home, do it again the next morning.

Millions of Americans do this routine without a real purpose or meaning. Millions of us march to the beat while inside we’re screaming for escape. Our weekends away with beer and escaping reality is looked forward to. It’s the only way we’ll make it through the week without going postal at our office. We sit in traffic on the way home every day instead of searching for a more scenic route that might even get us there quicker. We follow the herd.

Each of us has real powerful feelings and emotions. Many people cheat on their spouses for sexual release because they don’t get it at home or the urge is so strong that their mundane life can’t express the true feeling. We gorge on fast food, junk food, and hearty homemade meals with seconds because we want to suffocate the feelings we have that make us want to explode and cry. But we can’t cry. Crying is a sign of weakness and people can’t handle emotions. We’re far from our true nature and when that true nature is exposed, we freak out and get offended or press charges.

We’re animals and when we’re caged in the social media world, behind a screen, our primal rage builds up inside and if left unchecked, we can fuck a lot of shit up. Exercise is needed for every one of us and more than half of us refuse to move. The need for energy release that exercise can take care of is often suppressed with sex, food, drugs, beer, abuse, and violence.

Look around you right now and in your worldview tell me you don’t see this happening all around. People are bored as fuck. People are hungry for something more beyond punching in and punching out. We want to live the way nature intended us to but we’re so afraid of being “different” or we don’t know what to do to change.

Don’t live the unlived life. Don’t be that guy who punches in at a job he hates to pay for a house he hates, a car he wishes he never bought, and for a vacation he really doesn’t want to take. Make the change you desire. Live a life of trueness. Stop for a second and close your eyes and when you have your eyes closed, ask yourself what you really want in life. I truly believe that all of us want love, purpose, and meaning. We don’t want mindless scrolling through the newsfeed. We don’t want to sit behind a computer looking a useless meme and we sure as hell don’t want debt.

Live a fulfilled and strongly lived life by questioning yourself. Really ask yourself what you want and what matters to your heart. Money is great and we sure as hell need it to survive, but there are more powerful forces within you that want something that deeply matters. Find it. Express it. Go fucking get it.

On Writing, Beer, and Books.

Yesterday I restarted Volume Two of The Essential Essays of Activate Fitness. It’s been so long since I worked on the original that I simply threw it out and began once again. It will be filled with useful tidbits about mindset, being mindful, being happy, exercise, nutrition, and much more. One of the most important pieces of the book will in fact be the mindfulness and mindset work. There is nothing more important to any journey in life than a proper mindset, being mindful of our situation, and living our true happiness. Without that, the reader will never find the results they seek.

Last week I failed at my 150 words a day. Wednesday I spent the day packing and getting my kids ready for our weekend at the lake. Thursday, when I wanted to go fishing, plans changed and I ended up spending the beautiful day on the deck overlooking the river while hanging out with three crazy little kids. They were good and much supervision wasn’t needed. They were occupied safely with their toys and each other. I finished a great book, enjoyed some craft beer, and enjoyed sitting on my ass with nowhere to go. Much of my life lately has been running here and there and while that’s never a problem, add in two kids and it does get crazy. So sitting down, reading, and drinking beer was a welcomed change.

Over the weekend I enjoyed some new beers. Riverhorse, a New Jersey microbrewery, has a Summer Blonde Ale which was good. Goose Island’s Summer Ale was one of the best beers I enjoyed that weekend. Brooklyn Brewery also had their Summer Ale in stock and I grabbed a six pack to see how it was. I was surprised and happy by the fine taste and nice change from my preferred Hoppy IPAs.

I started a new book called Creativity by Mihayli Csikszentmihalyi and it’s boring me to death. While I get and understand the need for science, when reading about it from an author with a very scientific prose, it’s deary. In the book On Writing Well by William Zinsser, there are a few chapters about scientific and technical prose. So far, it’s interesting but will I get through it? I don’t know. I never finished the authors famous book Flow. It bored me to death and I couldn’t stand to stare at the small type with no entertainment. At least Atlas Shrugged with it’s very fine print, in my version of the book, is entertaining. I just walked over to my bookcase before starting this post to pick up Neville Goddard’s Complete Works. There may be a little more enthusiasm and prose in there. I will go back to Creativity though, as the topic greatly interests me. Over the weekend I also started reading The Proud Highway by Hunter Thompson. It’s a collection of personal letters Thompson wrote through some of his early years in the Air Force and beyond. Very amusing and I like the style. The fact that he could write for the paper, his books, and many correspondences to friends and family and other people is quite incredible. I can only hope that one day I reach the words he’s written.

The podcast is up on ITunes as well. Check it out here: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/your-life-activated-podcast/id1013978661

A Quick History of Choices

It was nine years ago, in a small New Jersey town located fairly in the center of the state that my life would change forever. Somerset County to be exact. A Polish town called Manville. For most of my life, around 20 years, Manville was home. I moved into town the summer I started fourth grade. I was a nerdy kid. Glasses, braces, a pony tail, and I was like three feet tall, weighed maybe 60 pounds. I had some cousins who grew up in town and went to the same schools. I was picked on because I was the new kid and the cousin.

For the most part my life was pretty normal. I played sports like baseball and soccer and had several good friends. We were active kids too. Always riding bikes, building forts, playing pick up games of football and baseball. Our favorite was the home run derby we would play on our dead end road. The power lines that connected the house to the grid was used as the home run fence. The neighbors backyard was a football field in the summer and a hockey rink in the winter.

Somewhere along the line of growing up and graduating into the real world of life outside of Manville, my world drastically changed. My fears would ultimately control my life and ruin a great part of the “college years” of my life. I went for a semester to a local community college and decided it wasn’t for me. The professors weren’t open minded and creative thinkers. They were puppets to the man working off a curriculum and following orders. As sort of a free spirited person, I had no respect for them and knew I wouldn’t last in the walls of propaganda.

Instead I went to work and hid from the world. Inside I was dying of fear and outside I was pretending the world was great. I had no idea what I wanted to do in life. I knew I had to work but doing what and going where, no idea. People freaked me out, the rich were looked at as selfish and sinister, and I just wanted to hide away. In those six years of hiding and working minimum wage jobs, I became homeless and lost everything.

Nine years ago, I started life over, with nothing. I had no money, no car, no clothes, and no job. The path before me looked insane and filled with terror. Giving up often looked like the best option, but I’m still here and how times have changed. Today, kids across the state are graduating high school and walking into the real world. The comfort of being protected by the routine of family and high school is over and it’s time to stand tall and walk forward. Many will fail. Many will ruin their lives as I did, and others will succeed. The game is played however you choose though. You can try to succeed in school and create a successful life, or you run and hide from reality like I chose.

I started over when I was fed up with the decisions I was making. I started over with nothing, but I made it my goal to create a successful life. No matter what. The world is impartial to who we are, but the choices we make create the reality we live. One moment can turn everything around.

Sleep, Morning Routines, and Writing.

A cup of hot morning Joe, in a somewhat quiet house, with a good night’s sleep does wonders for your creative genius. The mind is focused, ready to do the work, and the words come one after the other. No hesitation in thought, just writing at it’s finest. Everywhere I go when it comes to business and leadership podcasts, you hear guest after guest talk about their morning routine. They talk about how important it is to have a productive and energizing morning routine. Wake up, sit silently in meditation, do some affirmations, read a positive attitude based book, journal for a few minutes, maybe get some exercise or walk outdoors, shower, and then begin the day. Their rituals are tight, almost as if they’re military.

I’ve been thinking about my morning routine. Here’s how it goes. I wake up, grab a huge cup of water, turn the Keurig on, make coffee, get in the car, drive to the gym, do my affirmations, and train people for a few hours. If I wanted to have a better morning routine I’d have to slash an hour off of my sleep and I don’t get enough as is, so I’m fine with the way it is. But days when my coach takes over morning classes, like today, are a free for all. I didn’t get out of bed until 8:33 this morning and that is only because my daughter woke up asking to go potty. I may still be sleeping, it’s 9:12.

Back to writing at it’s finest. It’s days like this when my schedule isn’t packed with task after task or errand after errand that my creative mind works better. I have the desire to write. I return emails. I read without my ADD jumping off the page after each sentence. After having two kids I almost forgot what a good night’s sleep was like. The older my son gets, the more I am experiencing it again and it’s making me a better person. I write more, I love more, I train harder, I eat better, and more. If you’re tied up with poor sleep, just know it will get better and that when it happens you will feel like a new person.

There is no point to today’s post. Carry on now. Have a great day. Enjoy hot coffee, intense exercise, and good sleep.

How Little Wins Bring Big Results

Savoring the little wins in life and enjoying the little things can add up to a happy and successful life. So often we’re consumed with the big goal at the end of the tunnel we fail to see the small steps we’re making that are bringing us closer. When we don’t enjoy those small steps and little wins, what is the point? Why waste your life and time going through the motions if those little wins are passed by and not appreciated?

The small victories we have every day help make us into the stronger person we try so hard to become. The other day I successfully managed to give my son his medication when he needed it and kept his fever down while my wife was not home. Pretty easy of a thing to do, but for me, it’s a little win in being a good father. It eased my wife’s stress and comforted my son. Simple and small accomplishments like this add up. If you were to jump 15 years into the future and look back at the small things you’ve done, you’d see how they all played a major role in getting you where you wanted to go.

Nine or so years ago I was homeless and a loser. I didn’t quit though and I managed to work very hard at all of the small steps to get to a position where I’m finally comfortable with my life. It hasn’t been easy and the mental and emotional toll it’s taken far outweighs that of the physical effort needed to build a new life. Every day though I set a goal to have one win. That one win, repeated daily, would be the foundation I built to accomplish the things I have.

I haven’t spent much time writing lately. My mind was occupied elsewhere and my limiting beliefs made me believe it was too hard to write while juggling everything I have been. I decided to set a goal for one little win everyday regarding writing. One hundred and fifty words.

Set yourself up for massive success and great results by setting a goal to have one little win a day. Before you know each day will be filled with little wins. But by trying for one, you reduce stress and anxiety and break down giant tasks into simple steps.

46 Tips On Living Your Best Life

It’s hard for me to believe I’m writing a post on living your best life. It’s also hard for me to believe I wrote a book titled On Living Your Best Life: A Simple Guide to Being In Control. Life wasn’t always fun or even manageable. There were days when the towel was thrown in the ring and I gave up trying. There were depressed days and months, weeks and what seems like years. Happiness wasn’t always a part of who I am. Anger ruled my world. Depression sunk me into the couch and life wasn’t worth living. I felt useless and hopeless and could never see what good the future had in store for me. Even after I got my life back on track and began to make progress like most of you, I still hated life. I had everything I could ask for. A home, a job, a business of my own, a family, and money in the bank that helped my family thrive, but I wasn’t happy and I was ready to give it all up.

Not many people who know me believe this or even saw it, but the truth is, my best life was far from my eyes and what people thought was a happy life, was a miserable existence I self-created. All of the pain and depression I put myself through was out of line and what I failed to realize was the simple truth that I wouldn’t accept. Why was I unhappy? Why, when life was good to me, did I hate everything? The answer lies in the vision and the story I was telling myself. I created a false belief that didn’t exist and failed to see the true reality of my life.

When I noticed the problems of my own mind and the abundant joy in my reality, I made several changes. Along the way I wrote post after post after post about what I was learning. Here are 46 of those tips that I now use and accept to live my best life.

1. Pain means you’re alive. Use it for your own good.

Being in pain, mentally, emotionally, and even physically, you have a deep anger and a good power inside. Releasing this power in a positive way can be productive and used as motivation to drive forward. Keeping it in, hiding, under the skin and shadow of your true life can create an emotional imbalance that leads to problems. Use your pain for the good of people all around you.

2. Your health is related to your mindset.

If you feel lazy and exhausted, you might be thinking you’re lazy and exhausted. Get up and get in the gym and move your body. Let nature do amazing work by releasing hormones that create joy and pleasant experiences. The more we train, the better we feel.

3. Be Okay With Day Dreaming.

Find time in your busy life to sit aside from the commotion of everything around you and relax, day dream. Have no expectations or agendas. Just dream. Daydreaming is linked with creativity and improved mindset.

4. Get Uncomfortable.

Does working after work on your passion and dreams make you uncomfortable? Do it. Does exercise make you uncomfortable? Do it more. The more we push beyond our comfort zones, the better our results are in everything relating to our life.

5. Set Positive Intentions.

What do you want out of life? Do you want to lose 10 pounds? Why? Answer the deeper questions in your mind and heart and when you find the truth, set the positive intention to make it happen and do good where you can. A life lived with intention on positive experiences is a life lived to the max.

6. Continue to Learn Daily.

Learning about new things, ideas, and experiences is one of my highest values. I can’t go a day without learning something new. The more we learn, the smarter we get, the better our life experiences get. Knowledge truly is power and with it you can open doors to amazing things and moments you never dreamed possible. Always be learning.

7. Figure out your personality.

Much of my mental and emotional problems and experiences were overcome when I found a simple test called the Myers Briggs Type Indicator. I am an introvert and I created a life that better suited an extrovert and when I got severely overwhelmed, it caused massive problems in my day to day functions. Find out your type, read about it, and see where you can make adjustments to better your life.

8. Be Careful of the People You Surround Yourself With.

The people around you have a great effect on how you live your life. If you are surrounded by negative people you will naturally and inevitably become a more negative person. If you are surrounded by successful, smart, motivated, and fit people you will begin to change your life to mirror them and make your own mark. The people we interact with have a greater effect on our life than we think. Make sure you surround yourself with positive and uplifting people.

9. Quality over Quantity.

I am a big fan of beer and I enjoy good beer. That is why I choose craft beers that are highly rated and well reviewed. I don’t drink often but when I do, I want to have the best quality beer around. The same goes for everything we do in life. More is never better. Better is always better.

10. Find A Happy Place.

I love going to my in-laws lake house. It’s peaceful. It’s surrounded by water and it’s ultra relaxing. Being there releases tension in my body and removes the stresses of reality. It’s a great place to enjoy friends and family and it’s even better when you are alone with just your thoughts. Find a happy place and visit it as often as you can. Another happy place for me is the Float Tank.

11. Don’t Get Caught Up in Material Possessions.

“I wish that I knew what I know now when I was younger, I wish that..” One of the most life alerting lessons I learned is that more is not better and that being caught in a trap of materialism can create unneeded stress and problems in many area of life. Buying the next best, the latest gadget, a new car every three years, and a house bigger than you need is not what’s best for living your highest life. Think like Gandhi. He owned less than 1o things when he died.

12. Find Your Inspiration.

What inspires you in life to wake up everyday and try harder? This could be your kids, your job, your boss, your spouse, your coach, a group of people who you share your life with. Capture that inspiration and use it when you need a helping hand.

13. Know What You Want.

And then go get it. If you want a million dollars and a vacation home, go get it. Do not disregard your desires. There is truth and power in knowing what you want, accepting it, and believing you can have it. Don’t wait for someone to tell you you can have it, just go after it right away.

14. Be A Child.

Kids are crazy, fun, and very zen like. They love everything about life. They smile all the time. They brighten our days and are excited to experience everything life puts in front of their moments. Be a child and relax and enjoy the awesome present moments we are gifted.

15. Be Willing To Fail.

Fear of failure will stop you from ever trying and will keep you exactly where you are right now. Accept that failure happens and there are great lessons in failing. Go and do the work with the acceptance that it might not work out.

16. Enjoy the Mundane Parts of Life.

Wake up, get dressed, get coffee, drive to work. These redundant and mundane tasks can drive us nuts if we let it. Instead, try to enjoy them and feel the present moment and make a fun routine out of it. Driving to work is a powerful time to learn by listening to podcasts or audiobooks.

17. Question Yourself.

Did you try hard enough? What do I do next? Questioning yourself is a great way to see your true intentions and to find out if you’re working to your potential. It will also help motivate you when you feel down.

18. Go The Extra Mile

How often do we accept our half best? How often do we stop just before the moment of a breakthrough experience? Go the extra mile when it comes to your work, your family, and taking care of your life. The extra mile is the road less traveled and it’s the road to greatness.

19. Embrace The Suck

Life is going to throw curveballs and you will go through trials that test your wits and what you’re made of. The same goes for exercise. It’s hard work and exhausting, but by embracing the suck you will persevere.

20. Accept The What If’s.

What if I fail? What if I die trying? What if I lose all of my money? What if I hurt myself? These questions stop us from trying. To go further and live your best life, you have to accept that whatever happens, happens for a reason.

21. Overcome Fear of Failure.

The only way to overcome fear of failure is to get and take giant steps and do the work. Accept it as possible, embrace the suck, accept the what if’s, and walk through fire by trying your best.

22. Awaken the Truth of Life.

Many of us are brainwashed by media and propaganda. This isn’t a conspiracy theory, it’s fact. Awaken the truth about life by being open to change and continue to learn about all things in life. Meditate, read different books, ask questions. Find your greatness that is inside.

23. Use HOPE to Move Forward.

Hope gives us the energy to move forward. Hope gives us the power to overcome our fears. Hope helps us stay motivated that things will always work out. Hope changes the way you think and act. Go forward with the power of hope.

24. Share Your Knowledge.

Continue to learn everyday and then share that knowledge with others if it will benefit their life. Keeping in what we learn is a scarcity mindset move. Pay it forward and bring those behind you up front.

25. Be Yourself.

If you’re a rockstar and you’re hiding the truth of the music inside of you, you need to let it out and be yourself. Do not try to make up a story about who you are. Be the real person inside and show it off to the world.

26. Be An Action Taker.

You can read, listen, and watch everything and learn a ton but without taking action you will never move forward in life. Take daily actions to your goals and dreams. When you feel like you don’t want to go to the gym, go to the gym. When you feel like eating fast food instead of cooking good food, cook the good food instead.

27. Show Gratitude.

When you wake up in the morning, you are lucky. When you have a job to go to that pays the bills, you are lucky. When you have the ability to walk and talk, you are fortunate. There are many people in the world who are suffering more than we are. Be grateful for all of the goodness in your life. Be grateful for the people, the food, the water that you have and release that gratitude to the universe. I am grateful for you.

28. Enjoy Competition.

Whether it’s watching baseball or football on television or playing a pick up game of basketball, enjoy the energy of being competitive. Famous author and publisher Louise Hay says there is no competition, only collaboration, but the competition of trying to excel while others are as well is motivating and greatly energizing.

29. Don’t Be Afraid to Start Over.

At one point in my life, I lost everything I ever owned. I walked away with the clothes on my back and started my life over. It happens to many people. Starting over can be a blessing. Maybe you had a business that failed because it wasn’t a part of your true destiny. But now you have another idea. Don’t be afraid to take action and start all over.

30. Use Affirmations Daily.

Affirmations are a powerful tool to help you stay motivated and centered. Using affirmations can help you attract that which you are seeking and bring about an inner peacefulness. Practice using affirmations whenever you are alone and focus on the energy they bring you.

31. Give and Show Love.

Love is one of the most powerful forces on Earth. The energy of love and the vibrations are love can change your life. If you lack giving love to other people, make it a practice to share your love with those you encounter. Love the clothes you wear, the food you eat, the people in your life.

32. Capture Your Dreams

It’s easy to dream of a life where we have everything we ever wanted or where we live to our full potential, but it’s hard to actually capture those dreams and make them happen. Too often we don’t “do it” and just watch as others do. To live your best life, dream big dreams and then get to work.

33. Time Flies

We’ve all heard the expression “Time flies when you’re having fun.” but it also flies when you’re not. Make the most of the time we have whether it’s boring or fun and find the best parts of each moment. The time of our life is always now and we only have right now. Enjoy it to the fullest.

34. Do the work

There will always be work that needs to be done. We have household duties, job responsibilities, self improvement tasks, and more. A major part of living your best life is doing the work you have in front of you to capture the moments and bring out of them the best experiences of your life. If you want to increase your finances, do the work. If you want to lose weight, do the work.

35. Befriend Your Inner Critic

My inner critic is responsible for over 400,000 words never published in any format. That’s four major novels worth of writing that I have allowed to either sit silently in the dark or it’s deleted. The inner critic can stop you from taking action and destroy your dreams faster than anything else. We know it’s there and we know it’s afraid. Befriend the inner critic and accept the opinion within. Weigh the options and then, push forward. Your work is good enough.

36. Practice Visualization

One thing I’ve done in my business that has spurred growth and success is visualize the outcome I am looking for. I just moved to a new location for my gym. This is the third time since I started in my driveway. Each time, in each new facility, I quietly sat or stood there and visualized a full gym. I imagined the type of people I wanted training, the hours, the music, the exercises, the size of each class and then I went to work on all of my important tasks. This practice has helped me reach my goals and they continue to improve. I also use this for weight loss. When I won the beat the trainer challenge at my gym, I visualized myself winning and losing enough weight to capture the prize.

37. Never Give Up

Never giving up on your dreams and goals is one of the most important things we can do to live our best life yet. Through failure and difficulty we become smarter and stronger, therefore we must never give up trying to accomplish what we set out for. There have been hundreds of times where I felt like quitting writing, training, being a coach, and more, but each time those thoughts of failure and extreme difficultly came to mind, I rose above the negative beliefs and kept trying. What’s there to lose?

38. You’re Important

Some feel their life isn’t important. If you have a friend, a boss, a co-worker, a family, or people who like you, you’re important. We’re all important. You never know who you really are until you really try to find out. Look at some of the brightest inventors of our time. If they sat there feeling like their life wasn’t important, we may never have cars, light bulbs, coffee creamer, and MRI machines. You are here for a purpose. Believe it.

39. Realize Your Inner Strength

Strength doesn’t just mean that which relates to physical exertion. There are times when our physical strength means nothing and our emotional and mental strength mean the world. We are all stronger than we believe in every facet of our lives. We are all capable and equipped to withstand great adversity if the time comes. We may feel exhausted and unable to train for fitness but the truth is, you have the strength to push through a workout and get the job done. Push yourself so that you find that strength.

40. Be Creative

Each of us have unique opinions, beliefs, and perspectives, and they matter. There is no better way for us to relay our thoughts and ideas than by being creative. Whether this is writing, art, music, construction, design, photography, or sports, letting out our creative expression will help us live our best life. Silence the inner critic, do the work, and let your “art” out.

41. See The Truth of Happiness

Happiness is not something we can chase. We can’t find it, buy it, sleep with it, eat it, train for it, and we can’t see it. The only thing we can do for happiness is to choose to be happy. The truth is, we’re all capable of being happy. It’s inside of us right now.

42. Find Balance

There are many things we have to do in life and many responsibilities to take care of. To live our best life and avoid extreme exhaustion or overload, we must find balance. Our days are going faster and faster and we keep loading obligations onto our plates. The best thing we can do for balance is cut out unnecessary things from our life and focus on the few very important parts.

43. Be a Warrior

While a warrior is said to be a fighter or solider, the truth is, a warrior is also a strong, brave, and fearless man or woman. You don’t need a sword or machine gun to consider yourself a warrior. A warrior follows a creed of life that sharpens the edges and defines courage. Warriors follow their dreams, remove themselves from the masses of life, and are determined to succeed at their mission.

44. Enjoy The Little Things

I stopped the car the other day right in the middle of the road to watch a black beer rummage through a neighbors yard. I stopped the car the other day to witness this years baby geese at the pond down the road. Last year, there was one. This year, I’m excited to see there are three. I saw a flower nearing the state of blooming and stopped to enjoy the beauty and amazing laws of nature in action. I watched closely as my daughter ran around my gym without a care in the world. Worrying or thinking of nothing but experiencing the moment. That is where the true beauty of life lives.

45. Find your passion.

Do you like to mountain bike for sport? Write articles about living your best life? Draw pictures of nature? Whatever it is that you love, and we all know deep inside what we truly love, capture it and participate in your passion. Too many people are stuck in jobs and positions they hate and it’s slowly killing them just as life is slowly leaving all of us. Don’t waste the time you’ve been given. Make the most of it by living your passion.

46. Use The Best of Your Inner Energy.

Inner energy, inner strength, inner self. Inside of us is a power we’ve never fully understood. Our body heals itself. Our subconscious mind breathes, thinks, pumps blood, and digests food without our control. We never stop functioning as an awesome animal. Treat that inner energy well by feeding yourself good foods and exercising with a purpose.

Living your best life starts and ends with the energy you’re made of.


On Life, Effort, Risks, Goals, and Teaching My Daughter About Hulk Hogan

This week has been awesome. Tuesday I taught my daughter how to give me the pound and she’s loving it. Just the week before I taught her how to mimic Mike Myers in Austin Powers with the famous Fat Bastard line: “Get in my belly.”. The little things really do make the days better and more enjoyable. Today I taught her “Whatcha gonna do BROOOOTHER?” The world famous Hulk Hogan quote that brought him to wrestling stardom. Now I just need to watch everything else I do.

I officially received word that my town accepted my application to expand my gym into a new location that triples the training floor space. This is one of those moves in life that is risky. I’m freaked out by the decision but it’s necessary and from it’s either sink or swim, and I only accept swim. When I sit back and think about the journey I’ve been on in the gym business and life itself, I see that we really do manifest our reality. For the past year I knew it was time to expand the gym. Whether I had the membership base to afford it or not, it was time. All year I spent working hard to grow the business and find a new location. The law of attraction is spontaneous. Out of nowhere the thought came to me to inquire about space at a local warehouse park. Fortunately the timing was perfect and the opportunity was given to me. I’m running with it. Running with fear latched onto my heart and my nerves on edge but nonetheless, full steam ahead.

We are all very capable of capturing our dreams and making them come true. Our thoughts are here for reason and we can’t ignore them. Each time I had a thought about moving into a gym they were so strong I couldn’t think of anything else. The nervousness that comes with it too is not fun at times. On occasion it feels like I need to vomit and I often ask myself if this is real. But the powerful thought of knowing I want to do this is so strong that I work to make it happen. I don’t let it go and think it’s a foolish idea. No matter what, if I fail or succeed, it is what it is and the next thought will come and I’ll continue on this journey.

Being able to do all of this and spend much quality time with my children is amazing. Two of three days a week I get to spend the entire day cleaning up poop, spilled milk, and strawberries mushed into the rug. I also get to look into the eyes of joy and feel the connection of human love. Then there’s teaching my daughter the many joys of embracing the little things. Today we trained. I did a circuit of five sets. Five burpees, ten push ups, ten squats, ten kettlebell swings, and twenty flutterkicks each leg. At the third set my daughter said: “Oh boy. I’m done.” She’s two and a half. I said “No way. Let’s go! Two more rounds.” She held the kettlebell for a few seconds, did some funny looking burpees, and tried to squat. She kept going and I had to push her. I wonder if she realizes it, probably not, but I just taught her a valuable lesson. One I will continue to teach her until I’m done in this life.

That’s how it’s been with writing and my gym as well. For a long time there hasn’t been many readers of my work. Now I’m close to 500 blog posts since I started writing and there are over 300 that have only been read once or twice. Some classes at my gym have one or two people and last summer there were many that nobody came to. But I keep going, not quitting, doing the reps one motion at a time. What good would it have been if I gave up the first time nobody read a blog post or the first class nobody showed up to?

We are all capable of moving forward towards our dreams. Along the way there are days and weeks and months and even years that are hard. Filled with brutal work and endless days. Failure after failure after failure. Haters, negative people, competition making fun of you, being upset, sad, depressed, let down, and angry. These are the haymakers that are thrown our way that are meant to ask us one question. “Are you strong enough?” And the answer is always yes. One foot at a time.

My friend commented on another friend’s post today “That is sharpening the sword.” “Sharpen the sword for life.”

To me this means that through failure, through trials and tribulations, when we move forward and keep going, we’re working on forging our strongest self. We’re working on becoming the self that our inner core screams for us to notice and let loose on life. Yesterday I spoke to some co-workers about I felt my writing and podcasts were a little dry because I feel I’m not being my true self. I’m holding back my true opinions and the immense knowledge within my mind. I don’t want to rock the boat. I’m afraid that people will see the true man I am, where I’ve come from, and not accept me. I’m not alone here either. WE ALL have those feelings. Each day I try to do one thing to learn how to accept that part of me and I work on finding the reasons I MUST let it out in my writing, coaching, podcasting and more.

Moving forward I accept my role as the Bumblebee.

The Limits and Fears We Settle For

This morning on my drive into the office I was listening to a Louise Hay audiobook. The totality of possibilities. She spoke of the many limitations we place on our own lives. The voices we hear that tell us we can’t do something and how silly it is to listen. Thinking back on life, I see all of the limitations I put on my shoulders and actions and realize they were placed there out of fear. Fear of success. Fear of failure. Fear of criticism. Fear of the unknown. Fear of death.

When my wife and I decided it was time to try and have a baby and add to our family I was afraid. For the previous twenty something years of my life before that moment, I swore I’d never have kids. Growing up and living, I saw how children, babies, acted. Needing to be fed, changed, burped, and more. It was insane to think I could ever do that. Insane to think I’d ever want to do that. I thought it was impossible for me to be a good father, able to care for an infant.

Before we decided to have a baby I was working on becoming a fitness trainer. When I began my studies on the human body and movement and fitness, I was afraid. Inside I thought I was stupid. Too dumb to ever read a book, remember what was taught, and not good enough to pass a test. The days leading up to the test were some of the most stressful moments of my life. It’s not like the bar exam or a becoming a doctor, it’s just a CPT test, but the fear of failing was killing me. I passed with a near perfect mark. Certified trainer. Now, it was time to get to work.

For six months after I passed my test I sat in a pile of fear and limitations of impossibilities. Fear and my limiting beliefs told me I wasn’t good enough and didn’t deserve the opportunity to help someone get into shape. I sat quietly and dreamed of being a trainer. Applications after applications were sent in to local fitness facilities and they all requested interviews with me. Some called back every single day eager to meet me. Instead, I told myself that I wouldn’t get the job and other trainers already working there would laugh at me. A few months later and I was a business owner with my own training company.

Why do we listen to the powerful and restrictive voice within? We settle for less. Our capabilities are limitless and we stand still and watch the moments of life pass us by. We drink fear for breakfast and become intoxicated by our visions of failure or ridicule. We unconsciously choose to not try and settle for whatever we’re dealt by the mighty rivers of life. Powerful thoughts, negative in nature, cripple our dreams and suffocate our true beliefs. It’s hard to speak the truth. Even today as I write this practice session, I’m afraid of speaking the reality of my thoughts. You’ll judge me. You’ll leave my gym and walk elsewhere because “I weirded you out.” We call esoteric beliefs and possibilities “woo-woo” garbage because we’re afraid of looking within for the truth. The immense power of nature and the universe is so strong we’d rather ignore it and settle for the impossible.

Why do we listen?

Why not stand up and push back and tell the truth?

What do we have to lose?

We’re all in this together.

We’re all going to the grave.