Failure

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As a coach I see people fail all the time. I see people fail to stay on track with their goals. I see people fail to seek the support of those around them who are willing to help. I see people fail to give it time. I see people join my gym with the goals and dreams of getting in shape. They sign up for a twenty one day program and they come once. They fail to return.

I see people join in transformation challenges who start with a bang, only to fizzle out within a week or two, or when something throws them off schedule. I see motivation in their eyes and willingness to try, but something stops them dead in their tracks and they never (or at least from what I see and know) get into the shape they wanted when they started.

But is this really failure? In my opinion, failure consists of quitting your efforts to try. If you get a result that isn’t what you expected it’s not failure but rather a lesson that we must use to help us change something that didn’t work. In business and personal endeavors unrelated to my gym I have gotten poor results many times and failed.

In the past few years I self-published five books. My first book Becoming Awake and Alive sold one copy on Amazon. My second book The Essential Essays of Activate Fitness sold zero. My third book On Living Your Best Life sold one copy on Lulu or Amazon, I can’t remember. My fourth book The 15 Principles of Fat Loss Success has sold zero on Amazon. The latest of my five, Your Life Activated has also sold zero on Amazon or any other on-line store it is in.

At my gym and with friends and family, I probably sold ten books total. I took this to mean I failed. What happened since is that I stopped marketing them. I stopped writing about them, talking about them, and mentioning them. I accepted defeat (AKA I quit).

A few years ago I started a new training program for small groups of three or four people. These groups were strictly off limits to others not a part of the group. It started off okay and I filled my slots of three people. As time went on, it didn’t work. People went into my normal groups or they quit and then I stopped trying. I accepted defeat. I quit.

Quitting is the only way we can fail. Had I not given up trying to sell my books, I might have sold the stock I have in my possession. Had I not given up trying to sell spots in my small group private training classes, they would probably be booked. But I let my emotions and feelings get the best of me and accepted failure.

When people fail in the gym, it’s not because they can’t do it. It’s because they accept not trying again. When you don’t lose weight there is probably only one or two things that went wrong that can easily be changed. The problem is, most people accept quitting as an option and therefore, they experience failure.

It doesn’t have to be this way. We have the power inside to keep trying. We have the resources available all around us to get the help we deserve and to make it work this time. You have the desire for success. You have the desire to live activated. You have the desire to feel the best you have ever felt. You have the strength to face poor results and learn from them and fight back. The question is, will you do it?

“The easiest thing to do for most people when facing an obstacle is to quit. With this mentality most people die without ever reaching their full potential in any aspect of life.

You must understand your worth, and your desire to succeed must remain strong even on your toughest of days.

Keep showing up, celebrate your small goals achieved along the way, and stay dedicated when motivation fails.

It’s worth it.”

- Tom Deblass

How Giving Energy Affects My Mind and Body

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Some days you wake up and you’re ready to tackle the world. The feet hit the ground fast, the alarm is off after the first alert instead of six snoozes, and your eyes are opened wide. The energy is flowing through your shoulders, your chest, your core, and finally through your legs and feet. You feel invincible. These days are special because they’re days you feel happy and get the best work done. You cherish these moments because you’re not sure the next time you’ll wake up feeling so good.

Other days are a disaster as soon as the alarm beeps for the first time. The forty five minutes of extra alerts you have set go off and you don’t give a shit. You don’t want to open your eyes and the inner dialogue goes something like this “Fuck this. I don’t want to get up. Why do I have to get up? Fuck this.” It’s a struggle and you know it. People who don’t understand or experience this think “What’s the matter cupcake? Suck it up buttercup.” But to you, it’s a battle that’s going to take every ounce of energy within. These days you don’t want to look at people. You don’t smile. You don’t feel motivated. You just want to fall and not get up.

As a business owner, a generally positive person, and a self motivated man, I experience exactly what I wrote above. Some days are awesome and some days I wish I didn’t have to leave my bedroom. Some days being a stay at home father are the greatest days ever and an absolute joy and other days I feel like running away. I go through ups and downs and it affects everything in my life. Some months business is good and others, when I’m down, it sucks. There are days when I run classes and I am on fire and super positive. There are also days when I don’t want to be there or look at anyone in class. During the down days I’ll listen to positive affirmation tapes on the way to the gym but often, it doesn’t help. I use techniques I learned from Tony Robbins about changing my state, and it doesn’t help. I just do my best to make sure everyone enjoys their workout.

Some days you can’t peel me off the couch. I simply do not want to get up. Other days I get massive amounts of work done. Some days I’m super nice to my wife and others, she hates my guts because I’m an asshole. I’m not the only one who goes through this and there are many business owners I know who feel the same way. Is it the stress, the work that needs to be done, or the unknown about future business? In my opinion, it’s energy.

Inside of each of us there is energy that we have that fuels our life. Introverts often use their energy up faster than extroverts and they each recharge their energy in different ways. Introverts recharge by being alone and in solitude (I am an introvert). Extroverts recharge by being with other people and doing things. But when you are a person who has many people looking to you for knowledge, love, direction, motivation, purpose, passion, and energy, it’s a different story.

Imagine yourself, if you’re in the position of having many people’s eyes on you, as an outlet in the wall. You get your energy from the battery that nobody sees. It’s tucked behind the wall and it runs from solar power. Each day the cells from the solar panels recharge the energy (Being alone, meditating, exercising, therapy, etc). People, whether they’re clients, kids, a spouse, or friends and family all plug into your sockets. They need energy to refuel their motivation, or their love, or their passion, or their direction, and you are the one they have chosen as that source. It’s a huge responsibility. Picture a power plant and everything that goes on in the daily operations. Millions of people, their homes, refrigerators, and more are depending on the plants ability to provide their needs. When you are a chosen one, it’s extremely difficult to maintain a high energy level. You need to recharge and often, it doesn’t happen fast enough.

Part of my problem with being up and down is that I generally do not get a long enough break to recharge my power. I do very well when I am alone, with quiet, and can relax. I say no when I should say yes, but if I did say yes I’d create more leaks of valuable energy. One place I recharge my energy is at Sakura Brazilian Jiu Jitsu in Dover. I find the physical nature of Jiu Jitsu and the challenging tasks we face in each class as a great way to recharge my energy. Why? I plug in to an outlet of energy. Nobody is plugged into my outlet and my battery is draining of the stored energy. I’m connected to a source of energy entirely separate from my power plant. This is why people come to exercise at Activate Fitness. They unplug and connect to me, giving their power plants a rest.

We all are givers and receivers of energy and it is in the recharging our own personal energy that will make our lives the best they can be. If you don’t recharge with clean burning fuel, the downs you experience will be the most significant part of your life. Clean fuel is exercise, healthy eating, meditation, floatation, ice baths, Epson salt baths, grounding in nature, camping, hiking, and anything with complete solitude. The way we operate is directly related to our energy levels and how those energy levels are is related directly to how much time you have to recharge yourself.

The more plugs in our sockets, the more energy we give away. Failing to recover and recharge will drain your soul energy and cause you to wear out faster than normal people do. Burn out in entrepreneurs and high level jobs (and parenthood) is very common because we forget to recharge. We must learn how to say NO and be okay with that. It’s not selfish, it’s vital for health. If someone were to say it’s selfish, they are the one being selfish. They want your energy and can’t appreciate the fact that you need to recover. Learn how to recharge your energy and make it a priority. This is a major problem in my life that I am working on. As a stay at home dad, a husband, and a business owner it’s hard for me to find time that I spend alone. Looking back through the past year or two with the fluctuations in my energy, I can see that I haven’t given myself enough time to recharge. I completely believe in the saying “Put your own mask on first” and in order to fully live activated and awake and alive, I must do such. We all must put our masks on first. Without doing so, we’ll never be able to give of ourselves completely.

Find time in your life to do what you need to do to be activated and your best. Remember, it’s okay to say NO. Actually it’s vital to your happiness and well being.

You Can

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You have what it takes.

If you want to be successful..

If you want to be strong..

If you want to live your best life..

You already have what it takes to get the job done. By simply desiring something more than what you have or where you are now is proof enough that you have what it takes to do it, to chase the dream, to make things happen, to be your best self. The mind can’t conceive of things beyond your ability level. If you think about being a millionaire, you have the ability to become a millionaire. If you think about losing sixty pounds, you have the ability to lose that weight.

You are stronger than you’ll ever know and credit yourself with.

The mind is amazing and the things it can help you do are limitless. I often hear women at my gym talk about lifting weights and how the dumbbells aren’t light enough, how they can’t lift the tire, pull the sled, or do a deadlift. I give them no other choice but to do it because I know that it will help them get stronger and more fit and I know they can do it. Their doubt is shown in their posture, facial expressions, and movement but I know, by simple mechanics and grit, they can do the work. I wouldn’t even ask them if I thought they couldn’t.

You have what it takes to become the best version of yourself. You have the strength, the courage, and the desire. We all want better for our lives. We want more money, a healthier body, a sharper mind, and more happiness. All of those things are within you right now. If you want money, you can earn it. Your mind and your efforts can, and will, make it happen.

You want to be happier? Just say the words to yourself and you’ll realize that happiness comes from within and all the happiness you’ll ever want or need is created through yourself.

People get caught up in negative beliefs and a poor attitude, or negative mindset. These negatives beliefs can weigh you down and castrate your life forever. Many people live unfulfilled lives because they don’t see the power they have inside of themselves. I never want the people around me to feel that way. If you’re reading this… I know you are capable of great things. We all are.

Nobody has it any differently. We’re all human. We wake up and take a piss. It’s what we do.

We wake up and have the choice of taking action on our dreams and goals or not. It’s all up to you. Many people think they need something special to become something special. The special thing is this… effort.

You will never rise above the level you’re living at until you step over the wall in front of you. And that wall isn’t fifty feet in the air. It’s the difference between making a left or making a right at the stop sign. You can either step over your limiting beliefs or you can stand at the wall looking up forever.

If you want to live activated and be your best remember this..

The truth is… You can.

Be The Captain of Your Crusade

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Life is a journey from one point (birth) to another (death) and the journey is a crusade through valleys, up hills, and down rivers. You must be the captain of this crusade. Life will not bring you all that you seek and desire just because you wish. Life will throw you down, choke you out, and kick dirt over you. YOU must be the captain and you must lead the way.

Every now and then I see a post on Facebook, Twitter, or YouTube that talks about being owed something, being tied down by the “forces”, being controlled by “my job”, and being “taken advantage of”. I see people complain that their hours at work are long, they’re underpaid, bored, and ready for the weekend. This is a cry for help.

The Captain is Lost!

As the Captain of your Crusade, you led yourself into the trap, the war, the battle, and the depressive situations. Nobody else. People who read your post may have empathy because they shared, or shared, similar experiences in their Crusade, but they’re not going to Captain the crusade through your journey. Only you can do that.

Often, because of lack of true life experiences and proper education on reality, we find ourselves stuck in these shitty situations. It’s nobody’s fault but your own. Rule number one: Accept 100% Responsibility for YOUR life. By pointing fingers and blaming others or circumstances, you’re trying to put that responsibility on somebody else, and it’s not theirs.

Be the Captain! Stand up, assume control, and do the work needed to bring you into the clear. It’s not going to be easy. It’s actually a lot of hard work, but you can do it. You know you can do it.

As the Captain, you make the decisions. If you’re married or involved or there are kids in the picture, you must consider that, but as you decide, it’s your job as Captain to do what is best.

If your job sucks, get a new one. Don’t make excuses or blame anybody else, just do the fucking work needed. Stop being a bitch and act. If your health is crap, you’re fat, out of shape, and winded from stairs, don’t blame your wife, your mother, your stressful job. It’s not their fault. It’s your choices. Own up to it like a champ and demand excellence out of yourself.

When you find yourself denying any problems, when clearly they are there, and you don’t own up the responsibility to fix the problem, you are not being the Captain of your Crusade. Well, technically you are and you’re leading your ship into dangerous territory where you’re going to get slaughtered, captured, and destroyed.

A Captain accepts responsibility.

A Captain welcomes adversity.

A Captain stands tall in battle and pushes forward.

A Captain acts with the best of interests and doesn’t lie about what those interests are. A deceitful captain is a coward and a liar.

A Captain fights off intruders who try to take control of their Crusade.

A shipwrecked or defeated Captain owns that result and seeks the help of others with honor and dignity and the willingness to listen and learn.

Be responsible for the journey of your life and command control. You know where you want to go. So go there. Now.

What I’ve Learned About Being A Man

I don’t want to use that term lightly. Being a man is something beyond having a penis and some facial hair. It’s beyond construction boots and lifted trucks. It’s bigger than fishing and hunting or football or martial arts. All of these things, besides the penis, women can do as well. Being a man is more about what goes on within ourselves, then in appearances or hobbies.

Recently I’ve been reading some books recommended to me about men, manhood, masculinity, and other men topics. I’ve also listened to several podcasts and audiobooks, and as I cut through the facade, because there is a huge facade, of bullshit talk and the actual walk, I’ve come to learn quite a few things that ring bells. As I go into the list below, I want to make it known that in my life, I have probably gone against almost everything you’re going to read. It wasn’t until recently that I found my grip on things, on the real world, on why things happen the way they happen and more. For a long time in my life I’ve been the little boy, afraid of the big bad wolf, and the consequences of those actions have smacked me dead in the face and given me many wake up calls. The journey is individualistic in nature and everyone is different. What you experienced as a child has a lasting impact on who you are today and for many decades now, Moms and Dads have been getting it wrong. We’re in a situation now where our little boys are being turned into pussies, scaredy cats, and Momma Boys. It’s a hard truth that men and women both need to realize, so that this generation of boys can grow into Wild Men, real men, and their true self.

Here’s what I’ve learned about being a man:

- Men make decisions

You want to go out to dinner with your wife? Don’t ask her where, or IF, she wants to go. Just make the decision and do it. Men are decisive. When there is doubt, it’s unattractive and creates tension. As leaders men need to make fast decisions based on their values, their feelings, and their wants. What a man wants is important and when he’s decisive on his wants, his confidence shines and he stands with authority.

- Men need to be initiated into manhood

In aboriginal cultures, South American cultures, and many other countries around the world, especially in tribal communities, boys are initiated into manhood. This is something the American culture has forgotten and it creates many problems as the boy grows into an adult. An uninitiated man is indecisive, not confident, worrisome, and operates from a little boy perspective.

- Men help out around the house and are active with their children

A man in the house who doesn’t change diapers, feed a child, cook for the family, do the dishes and laundry, and clean the house is a man who doesn’t have his priorities straight. Men help out around the house to let their wives relax when needed and they play with their children. They read books to their children. They run around the house like a nut with their children. They punish when needed and coddle when needed. A man puts his family first in everything he does, and within that family, he puts his wife first.

- Men need to be a part of a Men’s Group

There are a lot of men who don’t have quality male mentors in their lives. Some men feel they don’t have anyone to talk to you about important topics or men who will hold them accountable and push them to develop their skills to become the best man they can be. Men’s Groups are critical for the livelihood of men and their positive mental attitudes. There are thousands of men’s groups across the country that are helping men grow, give, perform, and continue to be happy. Men need a sacred circle of guys they trust who will not bullshit them, who will help them, guide them, and listen to them. Men also need men’s groups for outings such as camping, fishing, beer drinking, poker games, fitness events, and more. Here is an online Men’s Group you can join Free: Your Life Alpha

- Men need to channel their Warrior Spirit

There is warrior energy in every man. In today’s society we think of those in the Armed Forces as Warriors, or movie stars and Mixed Martial Art Champions, or National Football League All-Pros. But the truth is, we all have a warrior spirit and many men are uncomfortable with it. Ever since the industrial revolution the warrior energy has been suppressed in men all over the world. The warrior energy inside of every man is the energy that pushes them to fight for their lives, their successes, their families, their finances, and their health. Many people fear the warrior because they feel men will use it to be abusive and angry. Men have been afraid of channeling the warrior within because they want to be Mr. Nice Guy. But the warrior energy channeled properly will help men become confident, purposeful, aggressive in a sense of action not violence, and able to survive the obstacles that life throws our way. Channel this energy through physical action such as martial arts, exercise, hiking, boxing, and also self-improvement.

- Men have boundaries and Defend Them

Sometimes men need to be the bad guy and stand up to their beliefs and values. An example of boundaries might be at work when you are already working overtime and your boss pushes more onto your desk. You have an event to go to that your kid is in and if you stay you’ll miss it again, but this time you say no and tell the boss that your family comes first and that you must go. Worrying about getting fired is weakness. Standing up to your values is strength. Men do not let others take advantage of them. They control their lives and act accordingly to what they believe in and value. Men don’t accept boundary pushers and do not allow them in their lives or space.

- Men are leaders

A man must be a leader. Whether it’s leading at home with his family, at work in his department, or in a group of friends, a man needs to be a good leader. What makes a good leader? They’re honest, dependable, smart, decisive, ambitious, and able to control situations. Many men are afraid of being the leader in their home or career. They don’t want the awesome responsibility of making decisions and being honest with their feelings. Men that are good leaders are not lazy. They handle their business effectively and create a positive atmosphere. Being a good leader, men are not manipulated by their wives, co-workers, friends, and other family members. Men that are leaders initiate and act on their feelings without asking for permission and they do so out of love. Men can’t be good leaders if they are not leading by example either. Men must lead by backing up the talk with walking the walk.

- Men have discipline, confidence, and are dependable

Men are not babies and don’t make excuses. They have discipline. With their fitness men are disciplined to make it to the gym and get the work done. They have discipline to eat healthy foods more than they eat like shit. In their work they are disciplined to do the tasks needed to get the job done. They are disciplined in how they treat their vehicles and their home. As they use discipline to help them succeed in life, they do so with confidence. A man has confidence in his appearance, his thoughts, his work, his ability to be a leader in his home, career, and community, and they are dependable. A man doesn’t say they will be there, wherever that is, and not show up. They get there early.

- Men have a purpose driven life

Men don’t go to work and come home to sit their asses on the couch and sink into the pollution of television. Men have a purpose and they follow it with confidence. Men work hard and have a plan for that work. They know where they want to go and they work hard to get there. Thomas Carlyle once said “A man without a purpose is like a ship without a rudder.” If you don’t have a purpose, or know it, all you need to do is ask yourself “What do I want from life?” And then go fucking get it.

- Men are life learners

Men spend more time learning new things then they do wasting their time in Facebook and through television. I heard Tony Robbins once say “If you’re not growing, you’re dying.” Men who have no growth game in their life are dying and wasting away. If you want to make more money, you need to learn how to do it. If you want to lose twenty pounds, you need to learn how to do it. Men who know what they want in life are learning about how to get it right now while the little boys are playing xBox, watching mindless television crap, or down at the bar drinking for the third night in a row.

- Men avoid Domestication

Domestication is a hard word for people to hear, especially little boys. They don’t believe they’re being domesticated by being told what to do and what to think and what to buy, but it happens everywhere. Not only does corporate America try to domesticate men, but women do as well. When a man gets married it’s not uncommon to hear his wife’s lady friends or mothers, aunts, and other female relatives say something like “So you’ve got him domesticated now!” Like it is something special and noteworthy. Women can begin to “domesticate” their men after marriage by playing with their emotions, their decisiveness, their ability to lead, and their hobbies. A woman can begin to “not accept” that her husband stays out on Friday playing poker with the boys, and when he does, she gets “angry and upset” and shows those emotions through tears and refusal of sex. Men don’t allow them to do this. They call out their childish behavior and stand up to them. Little boys try to “make it up” to them or beg for forgiveness. Men also don’t allow anyone to tell them what to think, buy, say, and feel.

Today I continue my learning on becoming a better man, a better husband, better at everything. I have learned much through my failures as both a business owner and a husband, as well as a father. The thing is, I see much of what I did wrong happening in the lives of other men and I see a great need to help them and others become their best self. That is why I created the free Facebook group found here: Your Life Alpha. Check it out and let me know what you’ve learned about being a man.

Live Your Life Like A Pro

I’m an amateur in this one life we get. I find excuses to skip writing, I ignore emails, find excuses to eat shitty foods, I sleep in instead of going to open mat Jiu Jitsu on Sundays, and there is always a reason to skip a workout. I’m hardly a pro. I let my hair and my facial hair go too long. I find reasons not to shave and sometimes do it once a week. I let my clothes pile up. I don’t give away old clothes and remove clutter like I should and often find myself scratching my head looking inside the refrigerator for something to eat. I skip the grocery store because being an amateur, I find excuses. In the words of Joe Rogan, I let my Inner Bitch win the day far too often.

I’m human and we all do those things. We all forget to shop for food, go a little too long without an oil change, and sleep in when we should get up and train. It happens, but when it happens more than it should, we’re amateur and we let that inner bitch win. When we let the resistance win and allow ourselves to stay in amateur mode too long, we fail to succeed at our goals and we allow ourselves to feel horrible.

So, how do we live like a pro and silence the inner bitch?

(By the way ladies, no offense with using the word “bitch”. I could say wuss, sissy, pussy, chump, clown, ego, resistance, or whatever else I could think of, but inner bitch when put in the context I’m using sounds better.)

Living like a pro takes guts. It takes action. It takes purpose and drive and conscious effort.

A pro is someone who looks at the excuses and still does the work.

A pro is someone who sees the difficulty ahead but still moves forward and acts.

A pro has balls and courage.

A pro still has fear and anxiety, but also has faith in themselves.

Living like a pro means when the excuse to skip a workout comes up, we accept that it’s there but find the courage and purpose and do the work anyway.

The inner bitch will always find a reason to not work hard, to not shave, to not eat the right foods, and it will fill your mind and body with stress, anger, depression, and weakness. A pro, or the pro mindset knows this and acts before the inner bitch has a chance to flood the mind with negativity. Before the mind and body get exhausted from the day, the pro trains and releases feel good chemicals that make us feel better.

To live your life like a pro, it’s best to set non-negotiable terms for your life. A non-negotiable term is something that you will always do regardless of what others say and regardless of what occurs in the day. Here are a few of mine:

- I write everyday. Regardless of what happens, I write at least 150 words every day.

- I train several times a week. Sometimes its four days, sometimes its six. No matter what, I make sure I move my body.

- I learn something new everyday. Whether it’s a blog post, a Facebook status, an email, a book, or a podcast I constantly improve my knowledge.

- I tell my wife and kids that I love them very much every single day. No matter what. I never forget.

- I ask one person every day how they are feeling and if they need help with anything.

Find your non-negotiable terms in life. By setting these terms you crush the inner bitch, the resistance, the little chump inside before he or she ever gets to act and stops you from being a pro. Write them down until you completely know them by heart and they’re a solidified part of your daily life. Having terms like this will help you stay motivated and dedicated to living your life activated. You can either be an amateur that gives in to the difficulties and problems of life’s experience, or you can be a professional who works hard to living their best life. Which route do you choose?

The Life-Changing Magic of Fitness

As a gym owner and a personal trainer I have seen the magic of fitness and the life changes that come with getting the body moving. With today’s way of living, it’s easy to forget about exercise and getting involved in a routine. Many people push exercise aside as something they don’t need to, a waste of time, or because of laziness. Some of the most profitable and widely sold prescription drugs are antidepressants. We’re caught in a lifestyle that is not natural. As hunter-gatherers and foragers, sitting behind a desk and not having to exert much energy during the day, we’re slowly killing ourselves with our “new” way of life.

Technology has smacked our senses silly and the routines of life are far away from how they should be. It’s pretty safe to say that we’re never going back to walking for many miles each day to find food, sharing our kill or baskets of fruit and vegetables with each other, and living a nomadic life.

But if we continue with the trends of fast food, poor food supply, water that is polluted, watching television for many hours, and moving away from movement, we’re going to be in serious trouble.

That is where fitness comes into the picture. Across the country millions of men and women are exercising in daily routines, following better nutritional programs than the average American, and changing their life through fitness.

Millions are ditching the drugs and picking up kettlebells. An intense 10 or 15 minute workout can be the equivalent of taking one of the best-selling antidepressants. Farm raised meat, or naturally killed game, and organic foods are rising in stock. More and more people are pushing away boxed foods, canned foods, mass-produced and killed meats, as we should.

There is magic behind a workout. There is even more magic behind a healthy dish for breakfast, lunch, or dinner.

As a coach I have helped several people who were depressed, angry, and simply upset with how they let their life go and by how out of shape they were. Nobody likes feeling out of shape. Even the most food addicted obese person doesn’t enjoy the feeling of heavy breathing and discomfort the extra weight causes. It’s not natural and that is why we often fall into depression or have major bouts of anxiety, anger, and sadness.

Exercise has been proven to help reduce the risk of diseases that are abundant in society. Heart disease, cancer, osteoporosis, and diabetes to name a few. Exercise also releases what Joe Rogan likes to call either his “inner bitch” or “monkey energy”. As animals and primates, one of the biggest traits we have carried through the millions of years of evolution is the animal instinct to move. Remember, as hunter gatherers and foragers we spent most of the day moving, walking, jumping, climbing, and running. Remove those natural tendencies from our lives and we’re more susceptible to mental, emotional, and physical disturbances.

When we keep our primal energy stored within, it manifests as anger, depression, cancer, gout, ulcers, stomach and digestive problems, and more. The life changing magic of fitness can probably be dialed into the fact that we need movement, and the releasing of primal energy.

If you feel like you don’t need to exercise or move to have a healthy and happy life, I beg to differ. The members of my gym all notice this change almost immediately. If you want to feel better, happier, and live a healthier life, start moving somehow every day. The life changing magic of fitness will take your mind and body into a whole new world.

Do Your Part

In search of truth my life has extended far beyond expectations. There’s much to learn and little time to learn it. Over the past year I’ve expanded my consciousness through critical thinking, books of all sorts, podcasts, videos and more. In search of truth I realize how much we’re lied to and how much is hidden. Many of us are distracted. Phones, televisions, social media and more cloud our minds and distract our lives away from real matters that are blanketed by useless and mindless memes, shows, and antics. There is a large number of people who fight on social media over political issues, being offended, police matters, and more. We hide behind the screen and characters on the digital keyboard. Often I see people scream for change and beg for mercy. The change that matters is the change you make of yourself. In order for progress to be seen and changes to be made, action from each individual human being on Earth is needed.

Take action daily on the real matters in your life.

Listen to what’s being said within.

Eat well. Eat for a quality life. Eat mindfully. Eat with the intention of consuming your fair share. Overeating is wasteful and robs other people of their share.

Move your body. Release the animal within and do something that exerts physical energy. Don’t wither away from non-movement.

Take time out of your day to appreciate all you have and forget about what you don’t have.

Share your story. Share your opinion. But make it meaningful.

Give your knowledge to those who are willing to learn or those who might need direction.

Spread the love that flows through you and don’t ignore it. Love is the most powerful force in the universe and without it, you wouldn’t exist.

Scale down your need for things. Be mindful of the resources you’re consuming through food, clothing, fuel, and more.

Do your part.

 

3 Ways To Fight Low Self Esteem

I can remember the day when I became a certified personal trainer. It was much like the day I received my driver’s license on my seventeenth birthday. Two tests that I was able to pass. Two tests that showed to me my low self-esteem.

When I left the division of motor vehicle with my father, now a licensed driver, I told him I didn’t want to drive. I was afraid I wasn’t a good enough driver yet, which might have been true, and my chest sunk in and my shoulders dropped as I sat in the passenger seat defeated by my self-esteem.

The day I became a personal trainer changed nothing in my life, except it gave me credentials, credentials I felt I did not deserve. There was no excitement in actually knowing I passed. I was thrilled that I didn’t fail but not overjoyed that I was doing something I wanted to do. For several months after, I stayed stuck and defeated. My self-esteem and even body image problem kept me from taking action on a new career I was dying to get started.

Over the course of about one year I read many books on self-improvement and self-esteem and doing the work needed to fulfill your goals. I finally got the courage to apply myself to the field of personal training and submitted about thirty different applications in my area. Out of the thirty places, thirty called me back willing to interview me. Again, my self-esteem and body image issue kept me from taking action and I ignored them all. Here I was trying to get into the fitness industry with thirty local gyms and fitness businesses willing to take time out of their day to have me come in, and I threw them in the fire.

It was then that I knew I had an issue with more than just my self-esteem but the only way I’d be able to do what I really wanted to do was by just doing it. After burning the bridges of the local gyms, I entered the fitness industry with no experience and got to work. It was truly a difficult time in my life. I felt like I did not deserve to be considered a trainer and that people wouldn’t pay me to help get them fit. Through the negative self talk and low self-esteem, I stepped onto the battlefield of life and fought my way to a higher self-esteem.

Even still, my self-esteem is not a level I’d like to be at. The Dalai Lama said it was a shame for anyone to feel low about their self. In the Tibetan language they don’t even have a word for it. When he first heard of such a thing, he couldn’t understand what was being told to him. It took awhile before translators could get him to understand what they were telling him. This is because by nature we are each powerful and highly capable people. Able to do whatever we put our minds to. The locks and chains of low self-esteem has kept many great things from ever being discovered and has prevented all of us from doing or saying something we deeply desire to.

In my books and the Your Life Activated community, it is my mission to help others see the vast awesomeness within and to really believe that we are capable of such powerful and life changing things. We must recognize our self-esteem problems and admit the truth of such in order to be victorious over the negative talk that goes through our minds. To fight low self-esteem we need to take action on several areas of our life.

The conversations we tell ourselves in our minds can be a big reason why we might have low self-esteem. When I said to myself that I wasn’t capable of helping people lose weight, that was what my reality brought. I had no clients and no drive to do something about it. When I said to myself that I couldn’t drive a car, out of fear, I couldn’t drive a car and asked for others to drive. When we say things to ourselves in a pessimistic way, like “I know I’m going to fail”, that is what usually happens, we fail. Gaining control of the negative self talk within the mind is the first step in the fight against low self-esteem. We can’t predict the future so why bother creating it with negative thoughts?

When I finally decided that enough was enough and it was time for me to lace up my trainer sneakers and get my hands dirty, I made a commitment to myself that I would try my hardest and put in the work and if I failed, I failed, and that would be the end of it. I had decided to become willing to fail in my journey. When we fight our thoughts and go back and forth over making a decision to do something of importance, being willing to fail is a powerful tool to help persuade yourself that you can do it. Making the choice of being willing to fail has helped me do more things since that time than I could ever have imagined. Use this choice to help you fight low self-esteem.

I am a trainer. I am powerful. I am a great person. I am universal and infinite. I am in charge of my life. What you read there are affirmations, another great tool to help you overcome self-esteem. To combat the negative thinking we all go through in our minds, affirmations can be used to help you build the value of who you are and what you are capable of. I began using affirmations shortly after deciding I was willing to fail and have used them every single day since. You can search the internet and YouTube for videos, books, and articles detailing affirmations and how to use them. I highly suggest blasting away your low self-esteem with positive affirmation ammunition. I wrote this article that you can reference: 20 Daily Affirmations 

Above are only three of the many ways you can fight low self-esteem. There are infinite amounts of ways you can increase your self-esteem and in time, with work, you will see the changes. The truth is, you must make an effort to see this increase. You must be willing to do the things on a daily basis because like everything, without practice you won’t learn and by applying these three things into your life you add traction and through practice you create mastery and in time, you are an individual with high self-esteem. To learn more about self-esteem and self growth, check out the free Facebook group Your Life Activated. If you want help or have questions, comment below in the comment section or fill out the contact form.

How To Lose Weight In 5 Easy Steps

In the past few weeks at my gym, Activate Fitness in Hackettstown, I have helped several people lose over ten pounds. One woman lost seven pounds in her first week and another was down ten in two weeks time. It makes me happy to see our members getting the results they signed up for. During the past four years our members have lost well over two thousand pounds and the numbers keep going up. During this time I have seen what works, what doesn’t work, why someone gets results, why others don’t and much more. It’s safe for me to guarantee our members results, as long as they follow the plan, because it works.

Here’s that plan. Read on to learn how to lose weight in five easy steps.

STEP ONE: Decide your goal and decide why you want that goal.

The first thing everyone needs to do when it comes to losing weight is to make a goal. Having a goal set gives you something to work towards. It helps you stay motivated and on track for the results you desire. Setting a goal is simple. Grab a piece of paper and a pen and sit down and think about why you are deciding to start an exercise program to lose weight. When you have a good reason, write down your goal on the paper. Underneath it write why you set that goal.

For example: “I want to lose 15 pounds by 11/2/15. I’m doing this for my health and to be there for my kids.”

Perfect.

STEP TWO: Find an exercise and nutrition program.

When I started to get back into shape I went out there into the gym with no plan and no idea what I was doing. I knew how to do some lifts but I had no idea what an effective exercise program was and especially had no idea about nutrition. That’s why it took me nearly a year and a half to lose only ten pounds. Then, I found a program on-line sold by a professional and I went to work. Following the plan I lost about fifty pounds over the course of the next six or seven months. If you do not understand exercise and nutrition, find a pro. They will save you so much time and emotional energy.

^AND.. I’m not just saying this because it’s my job.. I walk the walk. I have a great coach for my new exercise program through Jiu Jitsu and I have spent several thousands working with other professionals over the past few years.

STEP THREE: Schedule Your Workouts

We schedule doctor appointments, driver’s license renewals, interviews, grocery shopping trips, and nearly everything we do. Our kids have schedules for school, sports, and other activities. The same needs to happen for your fitness journey. If you don’t schedule workouts and MAKE (not find) the time to train, you will find an excuse to skip the workout or something will come up and you will miss the opportunity for your workout. Get your calendar and schedule the days you WILL workout. Then, go and workout.

STEP FOUR: All Things Nutrition

Nutrition is the golden nugget of your successful weight loss journey. That being said, it’s important to treat it as such. Remove weight loss and fitness from the picture, the food you eat makes you who you are. We have one life to live and the food we consume will determine if it’s full of dis-ease or vitality. Get your nutrition right for the sake of your well being.

Now, go shopping and you should even schedule time to go shopping and to prep your meals. When you go shopping buy wholesome foods like fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds, lean meats, fish, other seafoods, and tons of water. Avoid buying premade meals, packaged microwavable meals, frozen dinners, bagged and dehydrated foods, cereals, and other foods with added sugar. When we consume good wholesome food we won’t overeat and we will get the important nutrients we need for a healthy life.

Decide before the day starts what you are going to eat. When we do this we avoid falling off track and having to resort to meals that are not healthy or in-line with our goals. A day of eating shouldn’t look like a King’s feast. It should look like the leftovers handed down to the beggar. We’re so accustomed to eating massive meals and eating two or three of them a day. The truth of how your body works is that it doesn’t need all that stuff. The more our digestive system is allowed to digest our food, the easier it is for our digestive to digest our food, the better our results will be.

Have a day once a week where you enjoy life, beer, wings, pizza, and whatever you want but stay focused 95% of the week.

STEP FIVE: Keep a journal

Why? Because, it helps. Of course it does. When you record your meals and the days you workout you can keep track of what you are doing and judge your results based on what you’ve done. It’s always the person who doesn’t get results who doesn’t keep track of what they’re doing. When I ask people who tell me they haven’t lost weight what they’re eating and how much they’re working out, they don’t have an answer and neither do I, except “Keep a journal.”

If you write down all your meals, how much you sleep, your water intake, and your workouts and after two weeks you haven’t lost weight, barring any unknown medical reasons, you can go directly to your notebook and see WHY and WHAT is the reason. Maybe you’re eating too much, not sleeping enough, not drinking enough water, or skipping too many workouts. When you find the reason, you adjust and move forward. This is how you get successful results in little time.

For more information on fitness, nutrition, and getting results contact me below: