Thoughts on Filling The Void in Your Life

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The wiser I get through knowledge, action, failure, and success, and experience, the more I begin to see how foolish some people are in their way of life, their vision of reality. I’m included in those people. Life is strange and the way we live is even stranger. Working, waking up at four in the morning, consuming more food than we need, more gas than we need, shelter too big for what’s needed, resources, and materialistic garbage is not for me. I realized very early in my business that I don’t want to be a fancy materialism based facility. I don’t, and you don’t, need towels, water fountains, showers, fancy art work, hardwood floors, and shiny objects when what you are coming for is a workout. The point of coming to the gym is to train and anything beyond the essential tools is pointless. The same goes with my life. I have way too much shit right now and getting rid of it is a big priority. I don’t need it, I don’t want it. It’s useless. What I need in my home is love, companionship, happiness, and fun. Beyond the basic needs of food and water, there is nothing more that I need. Filling it with useless material junk is a waste of energy, money, and space.

A Zen Buddhist quote says “To seek is to suffer. To seek nothing is Bliss.”  The seeking of things beyond essential needs is an ego related matter and often times we fill it because of a lack of knowing who we are within or to fill a void we feel is left by something beyond our own self. Men around the world seek to fill pieces of their self through cars, cigars, homes, boats, electronics, and drugs. Women around the world seek to fill pieces of their self through shoes, make-up, boob jobs, and more. Often times when we seek something, say through a possession, we find that the void in our lives we wish to fill is still empty. That is because things that money buy can’t fill your heart and soul with what you really desire. What you really desire is purpose, truth, and love. Some times people who were never loved as a child, told they are beautiful or enough, have lives in which they obsess about a particular thing, like sex, money, a perfect body, drugs, cars, music shows, and more. They want to fill the whole in their heart. Sadly they don’t realize or understand that the whole in their heart needs to be filled from within first and by giving fully of who they truly are.

Buddha once said “Better than a thousand hollow words is one word that brings peace.” Look at that through action instead of word. Better than a thousand hollow actions is one action that brings peace. That brings YOU peace. Often our actions are not aligned with our true self. Our actions can sometimes be cries for help. Drug addicts are crying for help. They have shame and embarrassment and often don’t know how to ask for help. There are times when the help they get isn’t what they need. A drug addict who is in deep emotional and mental pain will not be cured of their addiction through rehab and most talk therapy. They need to confront the pain within and find a way to accept it, own it, and become bigger than it. A hollow action (rehab) won’t end the suffering, but one look within to see the pain may. It is your actions that form your life.

If you don’t feel loved you can act by becoming promiscuous to fill the void of love, but often you’ll find that being promiscuous doesn’t do the trick. Instead of acting through sex, act through giving love to something else. Confront the demon of why you don’t feel loved and work at that point to make change. We can’t put gum in the cracks of our lives. You have to mend the cracks with both pieces and apply acceptance.

Accepting the pain of emptiness one might feel is a stepping stone to improvement and fulfillment. Rather than using things like a big home or alcohol to feel fulfilled, attack the feeling of not being fulfilled and accept it and then thank it and then work on filling it with self love. If we look close enough and wad through the deep mud of pain we will find enough self love to drastically change our lives. Objects can’t make you happy unless you accept that happiness is already a part of who you are. If you feel you need more money, fancy jobs, bigger houses, or longer vacations, the first place to look for those needs is going to be your mind and your heart. It’s hard to battle the feelings and thoughts that cause pain, loneliness, and emptiness but you’ll never live activated and in charge if you don’t sweat a little. You have the courage and the strength to hold your sword out front and defend and attack. Now act.

BETTER TO SIT ALL NIGHT THAN GO TO BED WITH A DRAGON. Zen Proverb.

Showing My Kids The Warrior Side

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In the gym it was Eight in the morning. I got my kids in, grabbed my coffee and water and proceeded to the squat rack. A few leg swings, deep squats, hip mobility movements, bird dogs, and squat jumps and I was ready to go. Training time. Some days it’s comes good, some days it’s a fight. Most days a little built up energy and anger helps me get through the movements. Most of the time I’m training the kids are wild. They run around the gym, play with the jump ropes, grab the five pound weights and do heavy carries, mimic the burpees I do, or play with the cars I have. Sometimes my daughter puts on the boxing gloves and goes to town on the heavy bag.

Recently I started pushing a little harder during the workouts. It’s eight o’clock and I have class at nine. I need to get done before people start showing up. It’s fascinating to see how little one must truly rest. I used to see guys resting three, four, or five minutes after doing a sub maximal load movement like it was a heavy deadlift and they needed to fully recharge. My rest periods are thirty seconds. Some times less. First I do the main movement whether it’s squats or deadlifts and then I go into the accessory work. I super set everything. It helps me get done, keeps the heart pumping, and by the time I finish the last set I have enough time to wipe the sweat from my face and start class.

If I didn’t train before my nine o’clock class I would find every excuse in the book to skip it. I’ve learned to get moving when the mind doesn’t want to. The days I train I am up at four in the morning. I usually don’t roll out of bed for twenty minutes and hate getting started. The lack of sleep has caught up with me and anyone who says sleep is for pussies is an asshole. Sleep is crucial and when you don’t get enough, you miss it. I get to the gym to open up for my five o’clock class and by the time I’m done with the early morning sessions, I’m shot. I want my bed, I want to close my eyes, I want more sleep. I get home and grab a smoothie and coffee and the kids and head right back for my time.

Lifting weights is more than physical appearance or strength. It’s like a drug. The body creates “feel good” hormones and the negative thoughts fade away. There’s nothing like testing your body through physical movement and resistance. Heavy squats bring more than physical strength. They bring mental toughness and feelings of accomplishment. Heavy carries, sled drags, pull-ups, and dips build muscle, strength, and they conquer the inner bitch in the mind that tries to settle for comfort. When the training starts to feel easy, you know you’re drifting into the comfort zone and convenience. It’s time to change a thing or two.

Training with the kids in the gym is fun but at times ridiculous. When your less than two year old walks under the bar of your heavy squats when in the deep position you kind of freak out a little. What if he grabs my leg? What if the plates slide off since I don’t clip them when training alone? But when he gets close it’s a surge of Adrenaline. I love having my kids in the gym with me. They watch me test myself three times or more a week. They see me put my body through the stress of resistance training. They hear me grunt, curse, sweat, and scream. They see me breathe heavily and give it one more shot. Then they get to watch me work, like the old days when men would bring their sons to the field, the farm, the shop, the railway, or the mines. Kids used to see their fathers bust their ass and I’m grateful mine see it almost everyday. They see me crush weakness and build strength. They see me fight the inner bitch. They see me act with courage and fight fear as I add more weight. Then they see me help other people. I couldn’t ask for anything more. At times it’s crazy but looking at the big picture, it’s beautiful.

Attack Life With A Warrior’s Heart Part 1

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If I could go back in time to visit my twenty year old self, I’d first throw a nasty punch right in the face of who he was becoming. Then I’d tell him this..

Attack Life With A Warrior’s Heart

What does that mean?

What is a “warrior’s heart”?

A warrior in my opinion isn’t just an Army solider or a Navy Seal nor a Samurai Solider. A warrior is anyone who is fighting the fight to live life activated and in control. Someone trying to better themselves and someone who is taking full responsibility for their life.

Attacking life with a warrior’s heart is the way of the warrior. The way to the top, to fulfillment and purpose. A warrior strives to do and be their best and the battles they face each day help make them who they are.. stronger, healthier, wiser.

A warrior has strength, courage, and determination. They see the good that can come out of struggle and hardship.

A warrior isn’t looking to tell their excuses, even though they may have some, but they’re looking for ways to defeat them.

Attacking life with a warrior’s heart is the only way to live if you want to make the most out of this short journey. It’s the only way to become activated and to be your best.

There are different situations in life that test our heart. Do we all have the heart of a warrior?

I believe so. I believe that deep within each of us is the longing to be our best. The strength to give it our all. The courage to stand in the face of fear and the determination to never give up.

Is the warrior’s heart something we’re born with?

I think so. I think we are all warrior’s. Life is hard sometimes and there are many struggles and a lot of suffering. Somehow life goes on and we continue to try. This is from the warrior within.

A warrior’s heart is strengthened or weakened in every action of life. If we quit, it softens. If we struggle through and come out on top, it strengthens.

So how do you attack life with a warrior’s heart?

I’ll start with fitness since that is what I do. We all know diet and exercise is important. We all know that fast food and junk food is not good for our health and over-consumption can lead to weight gain. We know that exercise helps us feel better, burns calories, and optimizes our hormone production among other things.

Then why do so many people fail to grasp those facts and do something about it?

Most likely the reason is because they never allowed the warrior’s heart to strengthen by practicing good nutrition and exercising often. They feel the battle is not worth the fight or they feel fear when in the heat of the battle. When you decide to skip a workout, your warrior heart loses a battle. If you have the time, or made the time, to exercise and instead you pass it up to do something different, you’re telling the warrior within that exercise is not important. That action chips away at the bulletproof armor your warrior heart wears.

Attack exercise and good nutrition with a warrior’s heart. The warrior makes the time to exercise and sticks with it. The warrior feels like resting his or her head and skipping the workout, but gets up and does it anyway. The warrior is disciplined in their commitments to living activated.

It’s hard for many people to understand this and then actually do something about it. I blame society and then I blame their parents. It might not be the full fault of parents, but they had the chance to change what they were taught. Good nutrition and exercise does not just happen, unless there were extreme situations like a man abused by his father or a man whose father never told him he was good enough. Men in these situations tend to be perfectionists with many things in their lives. Good nutrition and exercise should be taught to all young and not just through words. Actually showing those kids what it means to be a warrior through fitness.

Attacking diet and exercise with a warrior’s heart is simple. Commit to doing it. Make it a non-negotiable part of your life. Schedule the workouts in your week and then show up. Commit to eating well and then act like an adult and do the hard work. The warrior may not want to cook chicken and broccoli for the third night in a row, but the warrior knows it helps and he’s grateful for even having the course available.

Relationships

Many people are in relationships and many people do not attack those relationships like a warrior should. Yes the lover in you is different from the warrior within but without the warrior’s heart, the courage, and determination- a lover won’t do their best. Relationships take work.That work won’t be done unless you operate from the warrior’s heart.

A warrior makes time for their love. They have the strength to do the hard work ahead. A warrior is also very giving in their time and energy. An example of the warrior heart in relationships is when a man or woman gives their time and energy with no expectations. The dishes get done, the laundry done, the meals prepped. The male warrior sees the mess and instead of leaving it for the female warrior, he cleans it. The male warrior knows the female warrior needs a break and he stands up and offers to make it happen, to care for whatever she needs cared for during her time alone.

The warrior’s heart is most importantly- giving. There need not be expectations of sex, validation, or affirmation for the job done, just love and gratitude. The warrior in relationships makes the commitment to love the other fully and fulfill the loved ones needs through action. When you know you should get flowers or a six pack of beer, you stop and get it. The warrior doesn’t make excuses, he or she cares for their loved one and therefore they stop and do what needs to be done.

Get up and Act

Attack life with a warrior’s heart and you will watch the suffering within you start to disappear. You will see that the struggles and hardships become easier to overcome. A warrior takes the bumps and bruises but stays course. Attacking life with the heart of a warrior means you attack the hard things in life with strength, courage, determination, and purpose. The warrior within is waiting to be trained and needs you to activate your life. Commit to your life like a warrior, commit to winning the battle and live in the strength you have within you.

Stay tuned for Part 2

10 New Things I Will Teach My Daughter

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Two years ago I wrote a post titled 10 Things I will Teach my Daughter and in the time that has passed I’ve learned and experienced a few things I want her to know when she becomes a young lady. Over the past year I have the fortunate opportunity to spend most of my time with her and my son. As they grow I can see some of the things I teach them finally cementing into who they are. The journey has been crazy but worth it.

Cutting right to the chase, here are ten new things I will teach my daughter.

1. Be Direct and Honest

There is a lot of sugarcoating in the world. A lot of political correctness that hides the truth. Many people are afraid to speak their minds and say what they really want to say. I want my daughter to not hide her truth and the realness of her feelings and opinions. If there is something bothering her, I want her to say so and not hide around metaphors or hidden messages. Just be direct and be honest and confront the fears of doing so. Too many people lie to others about what they are thinking or feeling and try to hide it behind a mask, a cloak, or propaganda. Be direct. Be honest.

2. Keep your friends close

There is nothing more important to the success and happiness to both men and women than good friendships. As she grows she will undoubtedly move from friendship to friendship but it’s important to keep your friends close. As she gets older and moves onto a career and family, I want her to know the importance of having good friends and being with them regularly.

3. Treat Food As An Energy Source

Developing a good relationship with sound nutrition is something to embrace. During the childhood years it’s easy to wants cookies, ice cream, chips, and all kinds of junk foods and candies. While your body may be able to handle it when you are young, you will come to a point where it doesn’t. Developing a good relationship with food will help you stay healthy, active, and happy. Poor nutrition will lead to problems that can be prevented with a good diet. Treat food as an energy source for your livelihood.

4. It’s Okay to Not Fit In

As a coach I’ve seen my share of women who have problems with their body image. In fact, we all do and if you say you don’t, you’re a liar. But, part of the problem of poor esteem and self-beliefs about our body image is created by society, media, and expectations of those around us. You want to be healthy and that is all that matters. A tummy tuck, a crash diet, purple lipstick, the latest fashion trends do not. These messages that we are bombarded with daily are not positive messages and you’d be best to ignore them. It’s okay to not fit in to society’s expectations. Be the real woman you are, no matter what “they” may say.

5. Learn the Real Story

As you grow through the years and you continue to learn in schools or wherever you choose, learn to be objective and to question what you’re learning. There is always the story and then the real story. It’s okay to stand up and question the truth of the story you are learning. The facts matter more than the opinions. If the real facts don’t match what you’re learning, find out why. Even if you get sent to the office.

6. Practice Self-Defense and Martial Arts

And not just to be able to fight if needed. Practice martial arts because of the lessons it will teach you about life. Practice martial arts for the education you will receive in your strengths and weaknesses. Practice martial arts to help you find a clearer path to the real you.

7. There is a Difference Between Men and Boys

If I could go back to the day I asked my wife to marry me I’d tell her to say no. I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t a man. I was a little boy, scared of the real world, of real responsibility, and I hadn’t taken my bumps and bruises fully yet. I was learning but nowhere near ready to take her hand in marriage. If my daughter decides to marry a man one day I want her to be sure that he has passed the stage of boyhood and developed into a man. A real man and not a broken child. This is going to be hard. There are many problems with the raising of boys today and if it continues the way it has for years, boys may never become real men.

8. Don’t Be Afraid of Failure.. or trying.

You know what stops most people from living their life activated? Fear.

Fear of failure and fear of the unknown stop us from ever getting to where we want to go. I want my daughter to know that we all fail and there is nothing wrong with failing. Don’t ever be so afraid to try that you don’t DO. Act and if you fail, dust yourself off and TRY again.

9. Be “Outdoorsy”

There is nothing finer than fresh air and being outside in nature. As the technological advances in society continue to change the way we live, remember that you are an animal and your real habitat is outside, under the sun, in the grass, in the river, up the tree, wherever the dirt and trees grow. Fishing is fun and relaxing. Camping is quiet, peaceful, and rejuvenating. Floating down the river in a tub is refreshing. Do it often.

10. Learn to Listen

Yeah I know you’re young now and don’t listen to anything I tell you, but what I’m talking about is learning to listen to other people when they talk to you. Listen to your friends, their problems, their dreams and share your own. Listen to the weatherman. Listen to your father when he tells you to pack extra clothes. Listen to your teacher when she tells you to try harder. Listen to your mother when she tells you women things. Listen to your doctor when they advise you. Listen to your coaches, they’ll help make you better. Advice, education, and information will come from every direction. Some of it is wise and some of it isn’t. Listen to it but the most important thing to listen to is your heart. It won’t lie to you.

How to Get Results When Everything Totally Sucks

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There times in life that writer and speaker Jim Rohn called “winters” where everything seems to suck. We feel tired, depressed, bored, lonely, exhausted, and overworked. During the  ”winters” we just want to hibernate and wait until the “sun” shines and we feel better, able to kick ass. But waiting and hiding away doesn’t always work and life goes on. So how do you get through those “winters” when everything sucks?

Today I was looking through my drafts, one hundred and forty-six of them, trying to find a post I started that I  couldn’t finish. I came across this post here. How to get results when everything totally sucks. I looked down at the last edited date and time and saw November 6th, 2014. My anniversary two years ago. In that time, I wasn’t in the position to write about getting results when shit sucked, because shit sucked for me. Now, two years later, I’m in a better spot and there are some pretty good results that came during that time.

A few months after I started writing this post, a whole six words, my wife and I found out we were pregnant with our second child. Business was up and down and I felt drained. Still at my regular full-time office job and spending the other six hours a day at the gym, I was extremely burned out. My performance and attitude at the office job took a big hit. My energy to train people and help them get in better shape was gone. I felt angry all of the time and hated being in the gym away from my wife and daughter. Shit totally sucked.

But.. there is always room for a good positive day here and  it was those days that helped me push through to get results.

When everything sucks you have to remember that “this too shall pass.” I started saying that to myself every time I was in a situation that caused me to feel stress and anxiety.

Here’s how I managed to pull out of a darkness that wore me out and almost ruined my life.

- I knew things needed to change. I knew I was possibly in a depression and that either my diet, my workouts, my sleep, or something else needed to be changed. Things sucked because I was burned out. I was overwhelmed and unable to slow myself down. Being aware of things off-center is the starting point of getting through and getting results. You can march on for years when everything sucks and never get anywhere if you don’t notice that things can change.

- I kept a gratitude journal. Every morning before I went to the gym for either five or six in the morning I would write down three things that I was grateful for. Many days I would write the same things down from the previous day. “I’m grateful for my wife. I’m grateful for my kids. I’m grateful for the members of my gym.” It didn’t seem like much but if I had to look back on pulling through darkness and pain, I would take the gratitude journal as the one thing I did that made the biggest impact on my life.

- I used positive affirmation audiobooks. Each morning during my ride to and from the gym I would listen to affirmations by Louise Hay, Wayne Dyer, and many others. I would repeat the affirmations as if they really were true and at times I felt weird because “Life is wonderful and I am in charge” just didn’t seem true. But I kept doing it and slowly I began to notice things change.

- I stopped trying to force things to happen and let them naturally occur. In business we can try to force business to find us and I did exactly that. I was tied to the outcome so much that when I failed to get to where I wanted to be, I suffocated my disappointment with food and laziness. By letting it all go and doing the few key things I knew I needed to do, I opened up space to allow life to manifest itself.

- I started longhand free writing sessions. Every day, or when my schedule allowed, I’d set the timer for ten minutes and would write by hand whatever was on my mind. Being a business owner, family man, and at the time an employee, there was a lot of shit going through my mind. It wore me out. By allowing myself to freely express everything inside of mind and put it on paper, I opened room in my mind for positive thoughts and beliefs, which allowed me to feel my happiness.

- I stopped the thoughts that life sucks. I had a poor me attitude inside. I felt like the world was against me and I felt like I was being pushed onto a path I didn’t want to follow. My thoughts everyday were focused on the negative and it was killing me. Luckily I noticed that my attitude needed to be adjusted and the self talk going inside my mind was the first place to adjust it.

When it felt like everything sucked in my life, I was exhausted. I was caught in a trap of redundant negative thinking, poor diet choices, excuses as to why I would skip my workouts, and blame. My attitude was centered on blaming others for the experience I was living. I believed it was the fault of others around me that I had to be in this situation and that if only I could do this or that, things would improve. What I failed to notice is that I am the master of my fate and captain of my crusade. Nobody else is to blame for where I was in life. My choices created my reality and it was up to me to decide how to handle it. Blame others, or get to fucking work?

If you feel like everything in life sucks just know that you can get through it. There are simple things you can every day that take a minute or two that can completely change your life. If you need some help, shoot me a message below and we can work on a plan to get you through the “winter” season.

On Living Your Life With Honesty

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Ask yourself this question: “Am I an honest person?”

If you’re like most people you answered yes. Now, ask yourself this question: “Am I honest with other people?”

You probably said yes and why wouldn’t you? Most of us are nice, caring, honest people. But there’s something that doesn’t sit right with me about saying we’re all honest people. Look around your life and see if there are some things that you notice that bother you and you fail to mention them. Why are we failing to mention those things?

For example, I know several people who are overweight. They drink hard almost every weekend. Some smoke. Some eat like children. I’m not an honest person. If I was, since I care about these people, I’d be honest with them. The truth is, I believe some of these people are going to die early preventable deaths. Why am I not speaking up for their well being and let them know I am concerned?

Sure, it’s none of my business, but the problem is- I’m afraid of being honest.

I’m not alone here either and it goes beyond what we see in other people.

In the gym I know how to get people results. I provide quality workouts for our members and give excellent, proven and tested, nutrition advice to them as well. There is absolutely no reason, besides not doing the work, that a member shouldn’t see results. What I hear from some is nothing but a legitimate lie. We’re ashamed of speaking the truth and embarrassed by failure and being vulnerable.

We have to get up and find the courage to admit the truth. When I see people talk about not knowing what to do to lose weight or why they’re not getting results, many times, they’re lying. They’re not being honest with themselves. A few questions can point that out quickly. What did you eat? What did you drink? When did you exercise?

Answering these questions truthfully and being vulnerable is the only way we’ll get results.

Living your life with honesty means that you do the work to ask yourself the hard questions, speak what’s on your mind, and never sugarcoat the situation.

Here are some quick questions to help you look within to see if you’re being honest with yourself. I’d take out a piece of paper and write the questions down and the answers. Nobody has to see this stuff. You can tear it out and burn it to the ground when you’re done, but the introspection of your life will help you with being honest and living your life honestly.

- Are you being true to the person inside?

- How much effort are you truly giving to your goals?

- Where is there room for improvement in my life and am I capable of doing it?

- Where am I lying to myself and others?

- Do the people you surround yourself with make you happy? If not, why are they still around? If so, do you tell them often?

- What self-destructive behaviors and habits do I have? How can I overcome them?

- What am I afraid of?

- Who am I angry at?

- Who made me feel sad, angry, and ashamed?

- Do I take my life seriously?

- What am I most passionate about?

- What would I do if I could do anything in the world? What’s stopping me?

- Am I willing to do the work needed to make that happened?

- Am I afraid of making decisions?

These questions are just a start. There are mountains of self-discovery questions you can ask yourself. The whole point is that to live an honest life, we must be honest with ourselves and have the discipline to stay honest and call ourselves out if needed. We must be ruthless and committed to the values we set, the words we talk, and the walk we walk. When we don’t live an honest life we release our power and the control over our own life. We let people walk over us and we allow things to happen that we’d never allow if we were honest. Remember, being honest takes fucking balls. It takes courage and it’s okay to be afraid and to cry and to feel pain. It’s a growing process and without going through it, we’ll stay right where we are.

Be The Captain of Your Crusade

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Life is a journey from one point (birth) to another (death) and the journey is a crusade through valleys, up hills, and down rivers. You must be the captain of this crusade. Life will not bring you all that you seek and desire just because you wish. Life will throw you down, choke you out, and kick dirt over you. YOU must be the captain and you must lead the way.

Every now and then I see a post on Facebook, Twitter, or YouTube that talks about being owed something, being tied down by the “forces”, being controlled by “my job”, and being “taken advantage of”. I see people complain that their hours at work are long, they’re underpaid, bored, and ready for the weekend. This is a cry for help.

The Captain is Lost!

As the Captain of your Crusade, you led yourself into the trap, the war, the battle, and the depressive situations. Nobody else. People who read your post may have empathy because they shared, or shared, similar experiences in their Crusade, but they’re not going to Captain the crusade through your journey. Only you can do that.

Often, because of lack of true life experiences and proper education on reality, we find ourselves stuck in these shitty situations. It’s nobody’s fault but your own. Rule number one: Accept 100% Responsibility for YOUR life. By pointing fingers and blaming others or circumstances, you’re trying to put that responsibility on somebody else, and it’s not theirs.

Be the Captain! Stand up, assume control, and do the work needed to bring you into the clear. It’s not going to be easy. It’s actually a lot of hard work, but you can do it. You know you can do it.

As the Captain, you make the decisions. If you’re married or involved or there are kids in the picture, you must consider that, but as you decide, it’s your job as Captain to do what is best.

If your job sucks, get a new one. Don’t make excuses or blame anybody else, just do the fucking work needed. Stop being a bitch and act. If your health is crap, you’re fat, out of shape, and winded from stairs, don’t blame your wife, your mother, your stressful job. It’s not their fault. It’s your choices. Own up to it like a champ and demand excellence out of yourself.

When you find yourself denying any problems, when clearly they are there, and you don’t own up the responsibility to fix the problem, you are not being the Captain of your Crusade. Well, technically you are and you’re leading your ship into dangerous territory where you’re going to get slaughtered, captured, and destroyed.

A Captain accepts responsibility.

A Captain welcomes adversity.

A Captain stands tall in battle and pushes forward.

A Captain acts with the best of interests and doesn’t lie about what those interests are. A deceitful captain is a coward and a liar.

A Captain fights off intruders who try to take control of their Crusade.

A shipwrecked or defeated Captain owns that result and seeks the help of others with honor and dignity and the willingness to listen and learn.

Be responsible for the journey of your life and command control. You know where you want to go. So go there. Now.

5 Things All Men Should Do For A Better Life

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For starters, let’s just get this out now… If you’re a pussy you need to wake the fuck up. There is much going on in the world today that you are not aware of and in order to live your best life, be happy, and in control… You need to wake up and smell the roses. Men, we need to wake up and gain control of our lives and march forward through progress with confidence and self-esteem. As a child, you may or may not have learned what it means to be a man.  I’ll admit, my life as a grown man has been very challenging and a lot of the issues I’ve gone through probably could have been avoided had I learned a few things about life. My problem was I hid from everything because I didn’t want confrontation, difficulty, and stress. That was a mistake and many of the choices I’ve made have been mistakes. You probably made a few mistakes as well and you probably had to overcome so extremely difficult situations. One problem I see around me is that men are not trying. Their being big babies, afraid of fighting for what they believe in, afraid of standing up for themselves. Men are being lazy wimps. They’re allowing their women to pussy whip them. Men are hiding from adversity and they’re not putting in the work where they need to. If you think everything is against you, like there is no hope for a successful future, like the world owes you something, like you’ll never reach the level of life you want to reach, then you’re lying to yourself and not telling the truth is the first mistake many men make. A great man taught me that all progress starts with the truth and if you don’t want progress in your life, if you don’t want a better life (not sure why you’re reading this), then stop now and go play Call of Duty.

Men need to stop the political correctness and whining. Men need to release the true primal masculine energy that is within us all. Soft dicks don’t get any action and if you’re not hard as a steel pipe than these five things are going to serve you well. Follow the advice. It’s game and life changing.

Today, we’ve gone way too far from the world we once lived in. When teepees and dirt floors were the norm. Fuck that’s a long time ago and now we have iPhones and cool ass cars made of debt. We have microwave ovens and suits that cost as much as buffalo. Some cost more. That right there is pansy ass shit. I don’t care if you think you’re the most masculine and alpha male around, if your suit costs more than a few hundred bucks.. you’re a silly dick.

There is a great need in the world today for the endangered alpha male to rise back up and stake claim in what is rightfully theirs. Of course we’ll never go back to living the primitive life but since it’s a part of our DNA, it’s important to make it a part of your life. This isn’t a once a year thing or a some of the time thing. It’s life. As in wake your ass up and do this shit often.

Five things you should do for a better life:

1. Fight/Wrestle

Within every man there is a beast that is caged and waiting while drooling through the teeth for a moment to pounce on it’s victim. More on pouncing in a bit. But, there is a deeply suppressed aggressive beast that idly sits inside of every man on Earth. This isn’t good for the everyday life of sitting in the office or listening to Prince during the horrible rush hour commute.

This suppressed aggressive energy is killing you. Literally killing you slowly. When there is an energy within the body that’s need releasing, like sexual energy, and that release is blocked or backed up, suppressed by life, it creates tension and dis-ease within the body. Every man would do themselves wise to release this aggressive energy.

One of the best ways is through fighting or wrestling or rough housing. We did it all the time as kids. Especially if you had brothers. We’d jump off the fucking pool ladder like we were Superfly Sunaka or Macho Man and drop elbows all day. We’d run on the football field (the backyard) and just wait to be tackled to the ground. Headlocks and chokeholds were abundant in the locker room or just for shits and giggles. We released this energy like animals do. Ever watch a puppy or bear cubs? They fight all the time.

Mature male animals do this too. They fight for territory and they fight for food and they fight for pussy.  Why do we have to stop this as adults? We don’t. And we shouldn’t. During hunter gatherer times we had to kill shit with our hands. We had to wrestle off intruders looking to rape our women and steal our supplies. It’s built in us.

Don’t suppress your fighting instinct and the need for aggressive release. Try doing some MMA, Jiu Jitsu, Wrestling, Kickboxing, Mauy Thai, or Boxing. Grab a punching bag and hang it in your garage. Kick the shit out of it and scream while you do it.

2. Exercise

You’re a grown ass adult. You’re a man and maybe a man of the house with a woman and children. You’re not a kid anymore and you KNOW it’s important to exercise and to move. Why do we even need to say this? Exercise should be something you get hard over. Exercise should be something that is not fucking negotiable in your daily routine.

Nothing makes your life better than a good old fashioned workout. The release of chemicals and the good shit happening inside your MIND and body is going to make your essence stronger and your alphaness shoot through the roof. How can you even think about not doing some kind of training?

You are strong. You are meant to be strong. It’s your responsibility to be strong. Would you rather be a weak bitch or a strong motherfucker when it came time to fight for your life? Would your woman rather hold arms that are tight and strong or arms that she can use to clean the spinach out of her teeth?

Computer warriors and office junkies need to understand something- being strong is sexy as fuck.

3. Become Awake and Alive

What does becoming awake and alive mean? It means that you’re in touch with your mind, your body, your sexual energy, your desire, your passion, your purpose, your spiritual self, controlling your own happiness and health.

When was the last time you read a book about your mind and how it works? What about a book about spirituality? When was the last time you asked yourself what you’re passionate about? How about happiness? Are you in control of that or do outside circumstances dictate how you feel?

I used to be miserable. Angry and unfucking happy to the point I shriveled up on a couch like death had stroked my shoulders and my life plummeted to rock bottom. I let outside circumstances tell me how to feel, what to think, what to do.. unaware and not alive.

Becoming awake and alive means you take control of everything. Your mind gets fed what it needs to be strong. Your body gets moved and trained in primal and aggression releasing ways. Your sex life is controlled not by the woman in your life but your own voice, your own energy, you take the lead and whisk her away never asking but instead giving. Your passion is used for the greater good of humankind and you live purposefully, always improving your situation and loving each minute of it. Your spiritual side is conscious and you make it a point to own your beliefs but you keep it at home. Your happiness is something you choose. Your happiness is in your hands and you realize it and let it shine forward to others around you.

4. Eat Good Food

Again, you’re an adult. Eat like it. Living life through fast food and partying hard every week is NOT going to bring you a better life. A grown ass man eats what he knows he should eat. I am a firm believer that each of us knows and understands exactly what we should be eating. This isn’t ten year old Timmy at Mommy’s dinner table time. This is grown man life and the food you put in your body matters.

It matters to your heart, your mind, your cock, your lover, your kids, and your happiness. Fueling yourself with garbage is a shortcut to a limp dick, a bad heart, a clouded mind, and a non-existent sex life. No further explanation needed. Eat like a man.

5. Sex

No shit sex will give you a better life but there’s a problem. Too many men are in it for themselves. We’ve grown up with Kelly Bundy, Spice TV, free internet porn, and Playboy magazine. You’ve jerked it way too much to be fully in touch with your sexual energy. When it comes time to make love in the bedroom, you’re thrusting for ejaculation and you’re not even aware of the energy created between two people, not even aware of the enormous power a well fucked woman will give you willingly in your life. There’s a rule.. she comes first. If she doesn’t, pack your shit up and get out.

If you want more sex, better sex, and more fulfilling sex then treat her like a sex goddess. Inside of every woman, whether she makes excuses like “I’m tired” or “Maybe tomorrow”, is a woman dripping to be fucked like the goddess she is. She’s waiting for you or maybe some other man to twist her panties and whisk her away into the world of orgasmic pleasure. Sex is not about pumping and dumping.

There used to be a disease in the medical dictionary called Hysteria. It was diagnosed to women who were sexually frustrated. A doctor, probably some alpha male, would masturbate her to release that frustration and blockage of sexual energy. Men were not cutting it. They were in it for themselves.

Remember the rule. She comes first. Learn how to make the act of sex an act of shared joy, pleasure, and connection.

This is probably one of the most aggressive posts that I ever wrote, but that doesn’t matter. What matters is men these days are being little children who are afraid of hard work and facing the tough conversations. We’re being told to control ourselves and lashed at when something we say isn’t politically correct. Men are being selfish with childish desires and they’re not embracing the true power within. Men are being pushed around and forced to act confined. We have our values misaligned and our ideas suffocated by fears. Men need to take a stand and claim ownership over their lives, their choices, their actions, and bring to their families, friends, and places of employment the true masculine energy within that’s needed for a better society. Stop hiding with your tail tucked away. It’s time to shine.

Standing Tall Against Fear

Standing tall against fear is hard. It takes balls, guts, and courage to push forward when faced with fear. Taking risks or making shaky moves scares the hell out of us and stops people more than it allows them to pass. Only the brave pass. Only the strong survive. Only the risk taking steel balled courageous lions walk through the fire of fear and stand tall, proud, and in control.

That’s one way to look at it. Another is this, remember that “every time you confront a fear you unconsciously create a belief that you can handle whatever it is you’re afraid of.” I read that in a book by Dr. Robert Glover called No More Mr. Nice Guy. But confronting those fears requires that you stand tall in the face of fear.

It’s easy to look at the things we’re afraid of and accept that it’s too risky or dangerous or scary to attempt. When I decided to move my training into my own facility, I didn’t make enough money to cover the rent. I had to work another job to not only pay my bills at home, take care of my family, and put food on the table, I also had to use some of that cash to pay the landlord. With a daughter at the time under one year old, it’s safe to say I told fear to fuck off. Several people told me I was nuts. Several people told me to Sack Up and do it anyway.

When I decided to take the risk it was like I literally walked through a waterfall of fear. On one side was my fear and the thoughts of failure, the thoughts of being embarrassed at failing, the thoughts of losing my family along the way. On the other side was “Fuck that shit, I’m doing it anyway” and there on a rock in the shining light stood Action. The glowing action was a sign that said “Everything will be okay and work out if you man up, face the fear, and commit to purposeful daily action.”

Some of the scariest moments in life are some of the greatest days and achievements we’ll ever experience. Walking onto the mat at a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu school afraid of failure and embarrassment and then doing it anyway and becoming somewhat skillful is standing tall against fear. Everything starts with the thought of doing something. Every thought of doing something is surrounded by questions and fears. Every action taken against those thoughts and those fears makes us stronger and shows us how powerful we truly are.

Find the fear in your life and don’t run away from it. Don’t hide in the closet or behind the computer or locked in the cage of your mind. Express the fear, acknowledge it’s there, and embrace it. Walk right up to the strongest fear in your life and throw a left hook. Look down at the fear shaking on the ground and command authority of your life. You are in control. Not the self-created and false fears, the enemies of greatness. Show up, kick the door down, and stand your ground. You will forever be strong enough to tell fear to fuck off.

Being Ruthless In Your Actions

Many people I know, read about, or have met struggle with the inner voice that is often referred to as resistance, the lazy chump, the inner bitch, the negative Nancy, and there are many days I too struggle with the resistance within. Millions of people have failed to reach their goals or live a good life because they allow this inner bitch, the inner chump, to control their thinking and actions. When we have a worthy goal to accomplish it’s easy to resist the efforts needed to achieve the goal. It’s easy to find excuses as to why we can’t do something we’ve never done before. The fear wins and the heart loses.

In the battles we go through every day, like do we take the trash out now or later or do we get the oil change today or wait another three weeks, are all tests of our virtues, our purpose, our drive, our desire, and our mindset. I heard Aubrey Marcus talk about fear of spiders once on a podcast. He said that when we let that fear get so strong that we can’t even look at it or we freak out, what we’re doing is actually losing the battle to many other choices, decisions, and actions ahead in our days. When the Spartans used to train they had to run Marathons with a mouth full of water. Once they ran the twenty-six plus miles, they had to spit it out. By doing this, they tested their fortitude, their accountability, their fear, and their purpose. They defeated the inner bitch who screamed for water.

Taking it to that extreme is probably no longer needed but the principle behind it still very much so.

When you start out on a new goal, say losing 10 pounds, and you create the plan to follow, sticking to it is a must. One failed action step is enough to completely devalue everything involved with the goal. If part of your plan is to wake up at four in the morning three days a week and exercise and one day you say “I know I have to exercise now, but sleep wins today”, what you’re saying is you’re not worth it, the goal isn’t worth it, the resistance wins.

As hard as it seems to grasp these thoughts and process the truth, it’s very much true that what we do or don’t do makes up everything we are. Finding an excuse to not exercise one morning can lead you to finding an excuse to call out of work on an important day at your job. Finding a reason to cheat on your diet and going through it is enough to completely set you up for failure. Taking shortcuts in your work or projects is enough to allow you to accept deceit.

When you don’t “stick to your guns” you’re allowing the resistance to win and proving to yourself that your values are weak. This will only hurt you in the long run. The need to be ruthless with your actions is critical. When we decide that we will do as we say and follow through with ruthless action, we respect our lives, our path and the values we try to live by. Being ruthless with your actions will help you achieve your goals quickly as you live your life activated.