12 Ways To Activate Your Life Through Fitness Today

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Far too many Americans are not engaged in a physical activity on a weekly basis. There are people all over the world who do not exercise or care to follow a healthy diet. One of the biggest complaints and excuses I hear is that exercise is hard workout and eating healthy is boring. This way of thinking is not how you live an activated life. Living without exercise or healthy eating is a shortcut to an early death, a life of suffering, a life of sickness and dis-ease, and possibly unhappiness.

Exercise boosts your mind and body and makes you feel better.

Eating healthy is awesome and makes the body healthier and more efficient, which leads to more energy and an increased happiness.

There is absolutely no excuse for not exercising and eating well.

It’s childish.

It’s a shame.

It’s disrespectful to your body.

We don’t like hearing the word “fat”.

We don’t like hearing people tell us to move more and eat better and to put the fast food down.

The truth hurts and we often feel powerless.

We believe we can’t take control of our lives and we believe that we’re stuck in the routine we created.

Bullshit.

You can change the course of your life and the health of your body right now.

Here are 12 ways to Activate your Life through fitness and nutrition… right now!

1. Stop eating Fast Food.

It’s a given. You eat fast food, you eat too many calories and store those calories as fat. Cut it out.

2. Drink More Water.

It’s the essence of life. The matter that creates all of life and everything we are. Without it, we die.

If you drink a glass of water a day, you need to up it to three, then four, then five, and keep going.

3. Move More

Daily exercise is important. Even a five or ten minute workout is better than nothing.

You have the time. Set it aside and do it.

No more excuses. No more complaining. Just exercise.

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4. Eat More Vegetables

Today, eat a salad. If you don’t eat vegetables, you’re being a baby.

Veggies are filled with antioxidants, vitamins, and minerals we need to function properly.

Go to the store and buy some.

5. Cut out Added Sugar

Doing this can jumpstart your fat loss and health almost overnight.

Foods that are processed have added sugars.

Put the f**king cookie down! 

6. Get to Bed Earlier

Sleep is crucial for our health and well being.

7. Set a Goal

Goals help us stay accountable and on track.

When you have a goal to follow, you do better work.

8. Get a Solid Program

Far too often when people begin to exercise and eat better they don’t know what to do.

Find a coach or a program that has proof of results and follow it.

Do what others have done before you.

If it worked for them, it can definitely work for you.

9. Believe in Yourself

You can do this. As a coach and gym owner I’ve seen people who were in worse positions than you get in shape.

I’ve seen people who could hardly walk lose twenty or more pounds.

You are a human being and you’re capable of being successful.

Choose to believe in your strength and determination.

10. Read Books to Get Motivation

Motivational books or stories of success are a great way to boost your confidence and esteem.

When you need to activate your fitness routine reading the story of how someone just like you did it before can help you find the drive to get to work.

11. Stop Listening To Yourself

Your mind can be a goal crushing evil voice.

It will try to keep you from moving. It will try to make the workouts feel hard.

Your mind will bitch about eating spinach and chicken again and again.

But your body can handle it and you have the power to change your thinking..

Or at least stop allowing the negative thoughts to dictate your actions.

12. Commit

This is your one life. You get out of it what you make of it and what you put into it.

If you’re not happy with the way you look or the way you feel, you can change.

Commit to yourself that you will get to work and stick with it.

Motivation can come from someone who yells at you to DO IT..

But unless you pay a huge amount of money, they can’t be there all of the time.

Motivation therefore will come from within.

Use your fear, your anger, your sadness.. use it to drive you through the workouts.

Use those feelings to keep you centered with your healthy eating.

YOU CAN DO IT!

Let’s GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Getting Motivated to Show Up

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As I drove to the gym with my kids to get there an hour before my next scheduled class, I thought about the workout ahead. My mind was racing with numbers. How many sets of squats, what weight, how many reps was I going to do. Let’s do eight, no I’m exhausted let’s do three, no three isn’t enough, I’m going for five. Then I thought about the sled drags, the pull-ups, the dips, and how many reps I would do. When I arrived, I was mentally exhausted from thinking so much, all while trying to listen to a Joe Rogan Podcast episode.

The mind went on and on trying to get my body to accept something less than it’s capable of. We all have these thoughts. Many of the members of my gym never realize how strong and able they are until I make them show me. For me, it’s different though. I don’t have a coach with me. My two kids are running around and I need to be quick. The motivation to move doesn’t come easy.

There are definitely days I let the inner bitch win. It sucks, but it happens. Do I regret it or dwell on it? No, I just pick up the pieces the next time and get rolling. On the days where I need to motivate myself to lift heavy, when I’m sore or exhausted, I just think about the men and women in the gym and how hard they work. I stand there in front of them telling them what to do and they do it. If they can, I sure as hell can. Of course I need to be motivated. Some days I’ll see my daughter sitting down on the big blue mat with her gorgeous eyes and beautiful smile fixated on Daddy. She’s watching me. She wants to see what I do. If I quit, she’ll remember that Daddy didn’t do it. If I give it my best, she’ll see me try hard and remember that Daddy worked hard. That’s all the motivation I need to push beyond my mind’s limits.

When you feel stuck and you don’t have motivation to exercise or eat well, it’s often not a simple fix but it requires some work. We don’t like hearing that word. Work is seen in today’s world as something that is hard, boring, a nuisance, a hassle, and more. We’ve become comfortable in our day to day lives and while we work our nine to fives, anything before or after that is a big no-no. Many people race home from work to eat dinner and then unplug. This is excellent for the mind but when it’s everyday, it’s a death trap.

Our minds and bodies are physically, mentally, and emotionally drained throughout the day. This is why exercise first thing in the morning is a great idea. Once we are zapped for our mental and physical energy through the demands of work, family, and social media, we don’t have much left. Getting to move in the gym seems like “hard work” and we refuse to sweat, to get sore, and to feel “pain”.

I used to be the same way. The couch is my best friend and every chance I get to veg out, I will, but most of the times, I earned it. The lack of movement and physical effort in our country is ridiculous and something that requires attention. It’s a shame to go through life without testing the limits of physical strength and mental toughness.

The problem is, people are not motivated to give it one hundred percent. This goes right back to the demands of our jobs, families, and more but when you see other people busier than you who working out hard, in shape, eating well, you have to question what’s going on. It’s not the demands of our lives, it’s our mindsets and the only way to ever break out of a slump and get motivated to live activated is by changing our mindset.

The mind will naturally try to talk you out of exercise. The negative thoughts and feelings will pile up and crush any sign of hope when we continue to allow it. How many times have you said you were going to workout tonight and then when it got closer to the time, the mind started saying things like “I’m tired.” “Tomorrow instead.” “I just don’t want to feel the burn..” and more?

Ninety nine percent of the time, starting a workout sucks. The heart is comfortable, the muscles at ease, the lungs relaxed. Getting the machine running is much like warming up a car in the winter. You start it, turn the heat on, and let it warm up. The body works almost the same way. When you begin, you warm-up. You get the joints moving, the heart rate slowly increases, blood starts pumping faster, the breathing changes, and then before you know it, you’re warm and ready for exercise. You started. The hardest part is over.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, it’s never easy to get moving and jumping into a hard workout. But the more we do it, the better we’ll feel and when we start off the workout right, it feels better. The hardest part of working out is showing up. When you show up, you already won. The mind is ready, the body is as well. When you fight yourself in your mind with the thoughts of skipping or the thoughts of difficulty, you’re exhausting yourself and only making it harder for you to show up. Next time, shower the mind with positive thoughts such as “I did it before I can do it again.” “I know I’m capable.” “I’m going to feel a hundred times better once I’m done.” “It’s only thirty minutes!”

Let’s GO!!!!!

Put The F**king Cookie Down!

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Over the past seven or eight years I have lost hundreds of pounds. They come on and they burn off. It’s a roller coaster ride. I easily put weight on and if I put a slight effort into it, I lose weight easily. I’m addicted to junk food and fight the cravings daily. My favorite being tortilla chips and salsa. I love Italian food, especially parmigiana foods. Trail mix is the one food I eat regularly that’s junk food but I tell myself it’s cool because there are nuts in it and raisins. Right. Junk food, period.

Before I started to get in shape I would eat all kinds of fast food everyday. Burger King, Wendy’s, Subs, and more. It got me to a point where I hated the way I looked and I knew I was unhealthy. I felt it. During the past few years as a strength coach and gym owner I can tell you that I haven’t been in the best shape of my life, yet. At the moment I’m feeling great. I’m leaner than I always used to be, I’m stronger and more endurance and I regularly work out. It wasn’t always that way.

A few years ago in the biggest growing stretch of my newly formed business, I was fat. People came to my gym to lose ten pounds in twenty one days as I said they probably could, and coach was a fat ass. Depression could have been a culprit but the blame goes right to one thing, myself. I chose to grab the fries, the milkshakes, the chips, and the shitty foods. Nobody made me eat it.

One day my buddy told me I should get my ass in gear and look the part. He was right.

Put the f**king cookie down, I said to myself.

I still enjoy crap food. I just finished a bag of Tostitos and had a nice burger last weekend. The difference comes from two things, one I eat better ninety percent of the time and two, I move more. I see many people struggle with their weight at the gym. They come, they train, and still they don’t get results.

It’s their nutrition. Simple as pie, but more involved than simply putting the f**king cookie down.

There is a lot of psychological issues and emotional attachments with food that most likely need to be addressed sitting across from a therapist, not a personal trainer. I know I have attachments with food. Mention Mom and I get excited about mashed potatoes and some of her great home cooked meals. Mention wrestling and I grab chips and salsa like I used to when I was a kid, watching Monday Night Raw and Nitro with my brother from another mother.

These attachments need to be fought and often the disturbance such battle creates in regards to mental and emotional well-being, can be hard and should be done in therapy.

But if you don’t have time for therapy and want to get help right now, just put down that f**king cookie and think about it before you eat it. I’ll often find myself grabbing a rice cake and the peanut butter jar, ready to slop a massive spoonful on the rice cake. I catch myself and remember the calories in the peanut butter and tell myself to stop being a little child. I used to scoop a huge spoonful of peanut butter out of the jar, press down the middle of the spoonful and pour hershey’s chocolate syrup in it. Amazing, but something a baby would do, not an adult.

If you know you have a problem with food, you need to address it and be mindful of it. You need to be ready to fight cravings, just like a drug addict trying to recover. It’s that hard and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. But, once you win a few battles, you’ll be stronger mentally and make better decisions.

Next time you whine about not being able to lose weight, ask yourself how well you’re eating. Ask yourself where you are going wrong or what shortcuts you hope you can take. Look and see where you have hard times battling food and develop a plan to attack and win. Next time you go for that cookie, remember to put it f**king down and grab something healthier.

Showing My Kids The Warrior Side

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In the gym it was Eight in the morning. I got my kids in, grabbed my coffee and water and proceeded to the squat rack. A few leg swings, deep squats, hip mobility movements, bird dogs, and squat jumps and I was ready to go. Training time. Some days it’s comes good, some days it’s a fight. Most days a little built up energy and anger helps me get through the movements. Most of the time I’m training the kids are wild. They run around the gym, play with the jump ropes, grab the five pound weights and do heavy carries, mimic the burpees I do, or play with the cars I have. Sometimes my daughter puts on the boxing gloves and goes to town on the heavy bag.

Recently I started pushing a little harder during the workouts. It’s eight o’clock and I have class at nine. I need to get done before people start showing up. It’s fascinating to see how little one must truly rest. I used to see guys resting three, four, or five minutes after doing a sub maximal load movement like it was a heavy deadlift and they needed to fully recharge. My rest periods are thirty seconds. Some times less. First I do the main movement whether it’s squats or deadlifts and then I go into the accessory work. I super set everything. It helps me get done, keeps the heart pumping, and by the time I finish the last set I have enough time to wipe the sweat from my face and start class.

If I didn’t train before my nine o’clock class I would find every excuse in the book to skip it. I’ve learned to get moving when the mind doesn’t want to. The days I train I am up at four in the morning. I usually don’t roll out of bed for twenty minutes and hate getting started. The lack of sleep has caught up with me and anyone who says sleep is for pussies is an asshole. Sleep is crucial and when you don’t get enough, you miss it. I get to the gym to open up for my five o’clock class and by the time I’m done with the early morning sessions, I’m shot. I want my bed, I want to close my eyes, I want more sleep. I get home and grab a smoothie and coffee and the kids and head right back for my time.

Lifting weights is more than physical appearance or strength. It’s like a drug. The body creates “feel good” hormones and the negative thoughts fade away. There’s nothing like testing your body through physical movement and resistance. Heavy squats bring more than physical strength. They bring mental toughness and feelings of accomplishment. Heavy carries, sled drags, pull-ups, and dips build muscle, strength, and they conquer the inner bitch in the mind that tries to settle for comfort. When the training starts to feel easy, you know you’re drifting into the comfort zone and convenience. It’s time to change a thing or two.

Training with the kids in the gym is fun but at times ridiculous. When your less than two year old walks under the bar of your heavy squats when in the deep position you kind of freak out a little. What if he grabs my leg? What if the plates slide off since I don’t clip them when training alone? But when he gets close it’s a surge of Adrenaline. I love having my kids in the gym with me. They watch me test myself three times or more a week. They see me put my body through the stress of resistance training. They hear me grunt, curse, sweat, and scream. They see me breathe heavily and give it one more shot. Then they get to watch me work, like the old days when men would bring their sons to the field, the farm, the shop, the railway, or the mines. Kids used to see their fathers bust their ass and I’m grateful mine see it almost everyday. They see me crush weakness and build strength. They see me fight the inner bitch. They see me act with courage and fight fear as I add more weight. Then they see me help other people. I couldn’t ask for anything more. At times it’s crazy but looking at the big picture, it’s beautiful.

Attack Life With A Warrior’s Heart Part 1

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If I could go back in time to visit my twenty year old self, I’d first throw a nasty punch right in the face of who he was becoming. Then I’d tell him this..

Attack Life With A Warrior’s Heart

What does that mean?

What is a “warrior’s heart”?

A warrior in my opinion isn’t just an Army solider or a Navy Seal nor a Samurai Solider. A warrior is anyone who is fighting the fight to live life activated and in control. Someone trying to better themselves and someone who is taking full responsibility for their life.

Attacking life with a warrior’s heart is the way of the warrior. The way to the top, to fulfillment and purpose. A warrior strives to do and be their best and the battles they face each day help make them who they are.. stronger, healthier, wiser.

A warrior has strength, courage, and determination. They see the good that can come out of struggle and hardship.

A warrior isn’t looking to tell their excuses, even though they may have some, but they’re looking for ways to defeat them.

Attacking life with a warrior’s heart is the only way to live if you want to make the most out of this short journey. It’s the only way to become activated and to be your best.

There are different situations in life that test our heart. Do we all have the heart of a warrior?

I believe so. I believe that deep within each of us is the longing to be our best. The strength to give it our all. The courage to stand in the face of fear and the determination to never give up.

Is the warrior’s heart something we’re born with?

I think so. I think we are all warrior’s. Life is hard sometimes and there are many struggles and a lot of suffering. Somehow life goes on and we continue to try. This is from the warrior within.

A warrior’s heart is strengthened or weakened in every action of life. If we quit, it softens. If we struggle through and come out on top, it strengthens.

So how do you attack life with a warrior’s heart?

I’ll start with fitness since that is what I do. We all know diet and exercise is important. We all know that fast food and junk food is not good for our health and over-consumption can lead to weight gain. We know that exercise helps us feel better, burns calories, and optimizes our hormone production among other things.

Then why do so many people fail to grasp those facts and do something about it?

Most likely the reason is because they never allowed the warrior’s heart to strengthen by practicing good nutrition and exercising often. They feel the battle is not worth the fight or they feel fear when in the heat of the battle. When you decide to skip a workout, your warrior heart loses a battle. If you have the time, or made the time, to exercise and instead you pass it up to do something different, you’re telling the warrior within that exercise is not important. That action chips away at the bulletproof armor your warrior heart wears.

Attack exercise and good nutrition with a warrior’s heart. The warrior makes the time to exercise and sticks with it. The warrior feels like resting his or her head and skipping the workout, but gets up and does it anyway. The warrior is disciplined in their commitments to living activated.

It’s hard for many people to understand this and then actually do something about it. I blame society and then I blame their parents. It might not be the full fault of parents, but they had the chance to change what they were taught. Good nutrition and exercise does not just happen, unless there were extreme situations like a man abused by his father or a man whose father never told him he was good enough. Men in these situations tend to be perfectionists with many things in their lives. Good nutrition and exercise should be taught to all young and not just through words. Actually showing those kids what it means to be a warrior through fitness.

Attacking diet and exercise with a warrior’s heart is simple. Commit to doing it. Make it a non-negotiable part of your life. Schedule the workouts in your week and then show up. Commit to eating well and then act like an adult and do the hard work. The warrior may not want to cook chicken and broccoli for the third night in a row, but the warrior knows it helps and he’s grateful for even having the course available.

Relationships

Many people are in relationships and many people do not attack those relationships like a warrior should. Yes the lover in you is different from the warrior within but without the warrior’s heart, the courage, and determination- a lover won’t do their best. Relationships take work.That work won’t be done unless you operate from the warrior’s heart.

A warrior makes time for their love. They have the strength to do the hard work ahead. A warrior is also very giving in their time and energy. An example of the warrior heart in relationships is when a man or woman gives their time and energy with no expectations. The dishes get done, the laundry done, the meals prepped. The male warrior sees the mess and instead of leaving it for the female warrior, he cleans it. The male warrior knows the female warrior needs a break and he stands up and offers to make it happen, to care for whatever she needs cared for during her time alone.

The warrior’s heart is most importantly- giving. There need not be expectations of sex, validation, or affirmation for the job done, just love and gratitude. The warrior in relationships makes the commitment to love the other fully and fulfill the loved ones needs through action. When you know you should get flowers or a six pack of beer, you stop and get it. The warrior doesn’t make excuses, he or she cares for their loved one and therefore they stop and do what needs to be done.

Get up and Act

Attack life with a warrior’s heart and you will watch the suffering within you start to disappear. You will see that the struggles and hardships become easier to overcome. A warrior takes the bumps and bruises but stays course. Attacking life with the heart of a warrior means you attack the hard things in life with strength, courage, determination, and purpose. The warrior within is waiting to be trained and needs you to activate your life. Commit to your life like a warrior, commit to winning the battle and live in the strength you have within you.

Stay tuned for Part 2

How To Battle The Inner Bitch

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Yesterday I was home with my kids. It was a rough day. They were fired up and acting like it was a full moon. For most of the day I was making sure they didn’t kill each other or jump through a window. The noise was like a packed nightclub. My energy and motivation was sucked right out of my eye sockets.

I wanted to make a million excuses to make my day easier.

But then I remembered that nothing good ever comes from being a little bitch.

The battle on the inside, the one that goes something like this “I’m going to skip my workout today and go harder tomorrow.”, we face each day is a test of our strength, our fortitude, our passion, and our discipline. While I could have used the exhausting day with the kids as an excuse to skip my workout, I decided to punch the inner bitch right in the teeth.

I got to my gym an hour before scheduled classes. Plenty of time for me to hit the heavy bag and release some of the primal aggression that was building up inside from sitting around the house most of the day. I wrapped my hands up and set the round timer on my phone. Five rounds of five minutes.

Before this, I never did more than three rounds of five minutes.

Today, the inner bitch was going to taught a lesson.

By the way- if you don’t know the term “Inner Bitch”, it’s something comedian and UFC announcer Joe Rogan likes to call the ego fight within, like what Steven Pressfield calls “resistance”.

When I started the workout, I was not in it. There was no fuel to add to the fire. There was no motivation like after you watch a Rocky movie and there was no desire to even hit the bag. As you can bet, my punches were soft and weak. I looked like a chump.

But something happened that happens when you begin to move and “warm-up”. You get into it. You begin to feel it and you begin to enjoy it. My workout ended up being great. I held nothing back and released a lot of built up rage and fought the demons we call the “inner bitch”.

How do you battle the Inner Bitch?

Everybody is going to tackle it differently and everybody has a different inner bitch for different areas in life.

It could be your job. Maybe you hate going to work and you do the absolute bare minimum, enough to not get fired. Well that’s lazy and pathetic. If you don’t like your job, don’t fuck someone else over by working like a bum. I did that and it’s embarrassing. Simply find a new job or fight the inner bitch and do the very best you can do.

Maybe your relationship requires a lot of your time and energy and needs work to improve. Instead of withdrawing and not giving yourself fully, suck it up and figure out a way to either leave or make it better.

The “inner bitch” is the voice inside that says “Not now, later.” or “I’ll get to it one day.” and then you don’t do it and the inner bitch wins.

If you want to win, you need to fight.. everyday!

Battling the inner bitch takes effort, takes purpose, and takes guts. It takes responsibility and some real hard truths. You take your life and put it on the surgeon’s table and get to work. Remove the unhealthy parts, stitch up the damage, and tell yourself the diagnosis. It’s not easy to take a look at your life subjectively and examine yourself. We often try to hide the truth and lie about what we really see.

We settle and hide behind comfort.

You’ll never win the battle without starting at the truth. Begin the fight by telling the truth and then lace up your boots, grab your sword, and go out swinging.

Lead An Inspired Life

blog1Living an inspired life is a life full of action, effort, dreams, goal setting, and fulfillment. If you look around the world today you can that we’re living dull, uninspired, and unfulfilled lives. Many people turn to drugs, alcohol, sex, television, fast food, and more to hide the pain and feel comfortable in living. People also cry for attention through social media outlets, protests, political forums, and much more.

When you hear someone say “live an inspired life” you often first think about helping other people by being vocal and being known through whatever means it may be, like a professional athlete, a talk show host, a senator, a CEO, or an actor. But you don’t need to be any of those to live an inspired life. An inspired life is a life that you feel happiness, purpose, joy, hope, and your heart is fulfilled because you are doing what you want to do.

Far too often we got caught up in the routine of work, bills, paying the bills, rinse, and repeat. It’s easy to see why we are caught up in that mess. Most of us have been taught that that is how you’re supposed to live. Get a college education so you can get a good job and work hard for forty years. That way of life, that line of thinking, is gone. It’s been gone for a long time. Some people caught in this mess are depressed, sad, angry, and they look for a way out. Few of them escape by drinking, doing drugs, and being violent. Others escape by settling in with “that’s the way it’s supposed to be.” This is uninspired living.

If you want to have ultimate happiness, look within your heart and mind and see what it is that you want and what makes you come alive. To hide that is devastating to your life. The saying goes something like this “The wealthiest place in the world is the cemetery. Because millions of people die with their greatness still inside.” That is uninspired living. Lead an inspired life by being committed to you. This is your life and while you may have responsibilities to other people, it’s your life. If you want to try something, do it.

There was a time in my life where I was very unfulfilled and uninspired.

My days were spent waking up, going to work, coming home, and repeating daily. There was not much fun about it, except the escapes of reality every weekend and a lovely woman. My heart was beating with messages that I was wasting my life doing something I didn’t want to do and wasting my good by not following my dream. I decided one morning to say “fuck it” and I followed my dream.

I started a training business and never stopped. What keeps me moving forward is the inspiration that I am the creator of my destiny and that anything I want, I can attain. The effort to do my best is there, the passion for helping others is alive and well, and I give my energy to others to help them improve. This inspires me and my life.

There is something deep inside of you that is begging for your attention. We push the noise away because we’re so busy keeping up with our routine that we forget to stop and listen to what it’s trying to say, for just a minute. That noise is powerful and it can change your life overnight. Stop for that minute and listen to what it’s been trying to say for years. Once you realize the truth within, the negative thoughts and noise will start creeping in and make it seem like a fairy tale, an impossibility, and you will forget about it…. UNLESS you look up, get up, and get to work.

You have the strength, the courage, and the energy to be inspired. Release that inspiration and share it.

For that is the reason you are who you are.

You Can

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You have what it takes.

If you want to be successful..

If you want to be strong..

If you want to live your best life..

You already have what it takes to get the job done. By simply desiring something more than what you have or where you are now is proof enough that you have what it takes to do it, to chase the dream, to make things happen, to be your best self. The mind can’t conceive of things beyond your ability level. If you think about being a millionaire, you have the ability to become a millionaire. If you think about losing sixty pounds, you have the ability to lose that weight.

You are stronger than you’ll ever know and credit yourself with.

The mind is amazing and the things it can help you do are limitless. I often hear women at my gym talk about lifting weights and how the dumbbells aren’t light enough, how they can’t lift the tire, pull the sled, or do a deadlift. I give them no other choice but to do it because I know that it will help them get stronger and more fit and I know they can do it. Their doubt is shown in their posture, facial expressions, and movement but I know, by simple mechanics and grit, they can do the work. I wouldn’t even ask them if I thought they couldn’t.

You have what it takes to become the best version of yourself. You have the strength, the courage, and the desire. We all want better for our lives. We want more money, a healthier body, a sharper mind, and more happiness. All of those things are within you right now. If you want money, you can earn it. Your mind and your efforts can, and will, make it happen.

You want to be happier? Just say the words to yourself and you’ll realize that happiness comes from within and all the happiness you’ll ever want or need is created through yourself.

People get caught up in negative beliefs and a poor attitude, or negative mindset. These negatives beliefs can weigh you down and castrate your life forever. Many people live unfulfilled lives because they don’t see the power they have inside of themselves. I never want the people around me to feel that way. If you’re reading this… I know you are capable of great things. We all are.

Nobody has it any differently. We’re all human. We wake up and take a piss. It’s what we do.

We wake up and have the choice of taking action on our dreams and goals or not. It’s all up to you. Many people think they need something special to become something special. The special thing is this… effort.

You will never rise above the level you’re living at until you step over the wall in front of you. And that wall isn’t fifty feet in the air. It’s the difference between making a left or making a right at the stop sign. You can either step over your limiting beliefs or you can stand at the wall looking up forever.

If you want to live activated and be your best remember this..

The truth is… You can.

Be The Captain of Your Crusade

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Life is a journey from one point (birth) to another (death) and the journey is a crusade through valleys, up hills, and down rivers. You must be the captain of this crusade. Life will not bring you all that you seek and desire just because you wish. Life will throw you down, choke you out, and kick dirt over you. YOU must be the captain and you must lead the way.

Every now and then I see a post on Facebook, Twitter, or YouTube that talks about being owed something, being tied down by the “forces”, being controlled by “my job”, and being “taken advantage of”. I see people complain that their hours at work are long, they’re underpaid, bored, and ready for the weekend. This is a cry for help.

The Captain is Lost!

As the Captain of your Crusade, you led yourself into the trap, the war, the battle, and the depressive situations. Nobody else. People who read your post may have empathy because they shared, or shared, similar experiences in their Crusade, but they’re not going to Captain the crusade through your journey. Only you can do that.

Often, because of lack of true life experiences and proper education on reality, we find ourselves stuck in these shitty situations. It’s nobody’s fault but your own. Rule number one: Accept 100% Responsibility for YOUR life. By pointing fingers and blaming others or circumstances, you’re trying to put that responsibility on somebody else, and it’s not theirs.

Be the Captain! Stand up, assume control, and do the work needed to bring you into the clear. It’s not going to be easy. It’s actually a lot of hard work, but you can do it. You know you can do it.

As the Captain, you make the decisions. If you’re married or involved or there are kids in the picture, you must consider that, but as you decide, it’s your job as Captain to do what is best.

If your job sucks, get a new one. Don’t make excuses or blame anybody else, just do the fucking work needed. Stop being a bitch and act. If your health is crap, you’re fat, out of shape, and winded from stairs, don’t blame your wife, your mother, your stressful job. It’s not their fault. It’s your choices. Own up to it like a champ and demand excellence out of yourself.

When you find yourself denying any problems, when clearly they are there, and you don’t own up the responsibility to fix the problem, you are not being the Captain of your Crusade. Well, technically you are and you’re leading your ship into dangerous territory where you’re going to get slaughtered, captured, and destroyed.

A Captain accepts responsibility.

A Captain welcomes adversity.

A Captain stands tall in battle and pushes forward.

A Captain acts with the best of interests and doesn’t lie about what those interests are. A deceitful captain is a coward and a liar.

A Captain fights off intruders who try to take control of their Crusade.

A shipwrecked or defeated Captain owns that result and seeks the help of others with honor and dignity and the willingness to listen and learn.

Be responsible for the journey of your life and command control. You know where you want to go. So go there. Now.

What I’ve Learned About Being A Man

I don’t want to use that term lightly. Being a man is something beyond having a penis and some facial hair. It’s beyond construction boots and lifted trucks. It’s bigger than fishing and hunting or football or martial arts. All of these things, besides the penis, women can do as well. Being a man is more about what goes on within ourselves, then in appearances or hobbies.

Recently I’ve been reading some books recommended to me about men, manhood, masculinity, and other men topics. I’ve also listened to several podcasts and audiobooks, and as I cut through the facade, because there is a huge facade, of bullshit talk and the actual walk, I’ve come to learn quite a few things that ring bells. As I go into the list below, I want to make it known that in my life, I have probably gone against almost everything you’re going to read. It wasn’t until recently that I found my grip on things, on the real world, on why things happen the way they happen and more. For a long time in my life I’ve been the little boy, afraid of the big bad wolf, and the consequences of those actions have smacked me dead in the face and given me many wake up calls. The journey is individualistic in nature and everyone is different. What you experienced as a child has a lasting impact on who you are today and for many decades now, Moms and Dads have been getting it wrong. We’re in a situation now where our little boys are being turned into pussies, scaredy cats, and Momma Boys. It’s a hard truth that men and women both need to realize, so that this generation of boys can grow into Wild Men, real men, and their true self.

Here’s what I’ve learned about being a man:

- Men make decisions

You want to go out to dinner with your wife? Don’t ask her where, or IF, she wants to go. Just make the decision and do it. Men are decisive. When there is doubt, it’s unattractive and creates tension. As leaders¬†men need to make fast decisions based on their values, their feelings, and their wants. What a man wants is important and when he’s decisive on his wants, his confidence shines and he stands with authority.

- Men need to be initiated into manhood

In aboriginal cultures, South American cultures, and many other countries around the world, especially in tribal communities, boys are initiated into manhood. This is something the American culture has forgotten and it creates many problems as the boy grows into an adult. An uninitiated man is indecisive, not confident, worrisome, and operates from a little boy perspective.

- Men help out around the house and are active with their children

A man in the house who doesn’t change diapers, feed a child, cook for the family, do the dishes and laundry, and clean the house is a man who doesn’t have his priorities straight. Men help out around the house to let their wives relax when needed and they play with their children. They read books to their children. They run around the house like a nut with their children. They punish when needed and coddle when needed. A man puts his family first in everything he does, and within that family, he puts his wife first.

- Men need to be a part of a Men’s Group

There are a lot of men who don’t have quality male mentors in their lives. Some men feel they don’t have anyone to talk to you about important topics or men who will hold them accountable and push them to develop their skills to become the best man they can be. Men’s Groups are critical for the livelihood of men and their positive mental attitudes. There are thousands of men’s groups across the country that are helping men grow, give, perform, and continue to be happy. Men need a sacred circle of guys they trust who will not bullshit them, who will help them, guide them, and listen to them. Men also need men’s groups for outings such as camping, fishing, beer drinking, poker games, fitness events, and more. Here is an online Men’s Group you can join Free: Your Life Alpha

- Men need to channel their Warrior Spirit

There is warrior energy in every man. In today’s society we think of those in the Armed Forces as Warriors, or movie stars and Mixed Martial Art Champions, or National Football League All-Pros. But the truth is, we all have a warrior spirit and many men are uncomfortable with it. Ever since the industrial revolution the warrior energy has been suppressed in men all over the world. The warrior energy inside of every man is the energy that pushes them to fight for their lives, their successes, their families, their finances, and their health. Many people fear the warrior because they feel men will use it to be abusive and angry. Men have been afraid of channeling the warrior within because they want to be Mr. Nice Guy. But the warrior energy channeled properly will help men become confident, purposeful, aggressive in a sense of action not violence, and able to survive the obstacles that life throws our way. Channel this energy through physical action such as martial arts, exercise, hiking, boxing, and also self-improvement.

- Men have boundaries and Defend Them

Sometimes men need to be the bad guy and stand up to their beliefs and values. An example of boundaries might be at work when you are already working overtime and your boss pushes more onto your desk. You have an event to go to that your kid is in and if you stay you’ll miss it again, but this time you say no and tell the boss that your family comes first and that you must go. Worrying about getting fired is weakness. Standing up to your values is strength. Men do not let others take advantage of them. They control their lives and act accordingly to what they believe in and value. Men don’t accept boundary pushers and do not allow them in their lives or space.

- Men are leaders

A man must be a leader. Whether it’s leading at home with his family, at work in his department, or in a group of friends, a man needs to be a good leader. What makes a good leader? They’re honest, dependable, smart, decisive, ambitious, and able to control situations. Many men are afraid of being the leader in their home or career. They don’t want the awesome responsibility of making decisions and being honest with their feelings. Men that are good leaders are not lazy. They handle their business effectively and create a positive atmosphere. Being a good leader, men are not manipulated by their wives, co-workers, friends, and other family members. Men that are leaders initiate and act on their feelings without asking for permission and they do so out of love. Men can’t be good leaders if they are not leading by example either. Men must lead by backing up the talk with walking the walk.

- Men have discipline, confidence, and are dependable

Men are not babies and don’t make excuses. They have discipline. With their fitness men are disciplined to make it to the gym and get the work done. They have discipline to eat healthy foods more than they eat like shit. In their work they are disciplined to do the tasks needed to get the job done. They are disciplined in how they treat their vehicles and their home. As they use discipline to help them succeed in life, they do so with confidence. A man has confidence in his appearance, his thoughts, his work, his ability to be a leader in his home, career, and community, and they are dependable. A man doesn’t say they will be there, wherever that is, and not show up. They get there early.

- Men have a purpose driven life

Men don’t go to work and come home to sit their asses on the couch and sink into the pollution of television. Men have a purpose and they follow it with confidence. Men work hard and have a plan for that work. They know where they want to go and they work hard to get there. Thomas Carlyle once said “A man without a purpose is like a ship without a rudder.” If you don’t have a purpose, or know it, all you need to do is ask yourself “What do I want from life?” And then go fucking get it.

- Men are life learners

Men spend more time learning new things then they do wasting their time in Facebook and through television. I heard Tony Robbins once say “If you’re not growing, you’re dying.” Men who have no growth game in their life are dying and wasting away. If you want to make more money, you need to learn how to do it. If you want to lose twenty pounds, you need to learn how to do it. Men who know what they want in life are learning about how to get it right now while the little boys are playing xBox, watching mindless television crap, or down at the bar drinking for the third night in a row.

- Men avoid Domestication

Domestication is a hard word for people to hear, especially little boys. They don’t believe they’re being domesticated by being told what to do and what to think and what to buy, but it happens everywhere. Not only does corporate America try to domesticate men, but women do as well. When a man gets married it’s not uncommon to hear his wife’s lady friends or mothers, aunts, and other female relatives say something like “So you’ve got him domesticated now!” Like it is something special and noteworthy. Women can begin to “domesticate” their men after marriage by playing with their emotions, their decisiveness, their ability to lead, and their hobbies. A woman can begin to “not accept” that her husband stays out on Friday playing poker with the boys, and when he does, she gets “angry and upset” and shows those emotions through tears and refusal of sex. Men don’t allow them to do this. They call out their childish behavior and stand up to them. Little boys try to “make it up” to them or beg for forgiveness. Men also don’t allow anyone to tell them what to think, buy, say, and feel.

Today I continue my learning on becoming a better man, a better husband, better at everything. I have learned much through my failures as both a business owner and a husband, as well as a father. The thing is, I see much of what I did wrong happening in the lives of other men and I see a great need to help them and others become their best self. That is why I created the free Facebook group found here: Your Life Alpha. Check it out and let me know what you’ve learned about being a man.