Don’t Live the Unlived Life

C.G. Jung once said that nothing has a stronger influence on a child than the unlived life of a parent and, in my opinion, the unlived life of anyone is devastating to our psyche. Today and for the past century we have been caught in a trap of the way we live life. For many people we grow up with parents who are hard working. They stress daily to be able to provide food, shelter, clothing, transportation, and if we’re lucky a week vacation once a year to the shore or somewhere they love.  As time goes on we get caught in a cycle of the same monotonous routines. We wake every morning to prepare ourselves for work and many of us go to places we hate going. Our jobs are boring. We’re unfulfilled in the office or on the road. We’re tired of work that doesn’t matter to who we are inside. But, in order to afford the life we choose, we must continue to work. Keep your head down, do as you’re told, go beyond what is asked of you- even if it kills you, and then come home, do it again the next morning.

Millions of Americans do this routine without a real purpose or meaning. Millions of us march to the beat while inside we’re screaming for escape. Our weekends away with beer and escaping reality is looked forward to. It’s the only way we’ll make it through the week without going postal at our office. We sit in traffic on the way home every day instead of searching for a more scenic route that might even get us there quicker. We follow the herd.

Each of us has real powerful feelings and emotions. Many people cheat on their spouses for sexual release because they don’t get it at home or the urge is so strong that their mundane life can’t express the true feeling. We gorge on fast food, junk food, and hearty homemade meals with seconds because we want to suffocate the feelings we have that make us want to explode and cry. But we can’t cry. Crying is a sign of weakness and people can’t handle emotions. We’re far from our true nature and when that true nature is exposed, we freak out and get offended or press charges.

We’re animals and when we’re caged in the social media world, behind a screen, our primal rage builds up inside and if left unchecked, we can fuck a lot of shit up. Exercise is needed for every one of us and more than half of us refuse to move. The need for energy release that exercise can take care of is often suppressed with sex, food, drugs, beer, abuse, and violence.

Look around you right now and in your worldview tell me you don’t see this happening all around. People are bored as fuck. People are hungry for something more beyond punching in and punching out. We want to live the way nature intended us to but we’re so afraid of being “different” or we don’t know what to do to change.

Don’t live the unlived life. Don’t be that guy who punches in at a job he hates to pay for a house he hates, a car he wishes he never bought, and for a vacation he really doesn’t want to take. Make the change you desire. Live a life of trueness. Stop for a second and close your eyes and when you have your eyes closed, ask yourself what you really want in life. I truly believe that all of us want love, purpose, and meaning. We don’t want mindless scrolling through the newsfeed. We don’t want to sit behind a computer looking a useless meme and we sure as hell don’t want debt.

Live a fulfilled and strongly lived life by questioning yourself. Really ask yourself what you want and what matters to your heart. Money is great and we sure as hell need it to survive, but there are more powerful forces within you that want something that deeply matters. Find it. Express it. Go fucking get it.

Do Your Part

In search of truth my life has extended far beyond expectations. There’s much to learn and little time to learn it. Over the past year I’ve expanded my consciousness through critical thinking, books of all sorts, podcasts, videos and more. In search of truth I realize how much we’re lied to and how much is hidden. Many of us are distracted. Phones, televisions, social media and more cloud our minds and distract our lives away from real matters that are blanketed by useless and mindless memes, shows, and antics. There is a large number of people who fight on social media over political issues, being offended, police matters, and more. We hide behind the screen and characters on the digital keyboard. Often I see people scream for change and beg for mercy. The change that matters is the change you make of yourself. In order for progress to be seen and changes to be made, action from each individual human being on Earth is needed.

Take action daily on the real matters in your life.

Listen to what’s being said within.

Eat well. Eat for a quality life. Eat mindfully. Eat with the intention of consuming your fair share. Overeating is wasteful and robs other people of their share.

Move your body. Release the animal within and do something that exerts physical energy. Don’t wither away from non-movement.

Take time out of your day to appreciate all you have and forget about what you don’t have.

Share your story. Share your opinion. But make it meaningful.

Give your knowledge to those who are willing to learn or those who might need direction.

Spread the love that flows through you and don’t ignore it. Love is the most powerful force in the universe and without it, you wouldn’t exist.

Scale down your need for things. Be mindful of the resources you’re consuming through food, clothing, fuel, and more.

Do your part.

 

3 Ways To Fight Low Self Esteem

I can remember the day when I became a certified personal trainer. It was much like the day I received my driver’s license on my seventeenth birthday. Two tests that I was able to pass. Two tests that showed to me my low self-esteem.

When I left the division of motor vehicle with my father, now a licensed driver, I told him I didn’t want to drive. I was afraid I wasn’t a good enough driver yet, which might have been true, and my chest sunk in and my shoulders dropped as I sat in the passenger seat defeated by my self-esteem.

The day I became a personal trainer changed nothing in my life, except it gave me credentials, credentials I felt I did not deserve. There was no excitement in actually knowing I passed. I was thrilled that I didn’t fail but not overjoyed that I was doing something I wanted to do. For several months after, I stayed stuck and defeated. My self-esteem and even body image problem kept me from taking action on a new career I was dying to get started.

Over the course of about one year I read many books on self-improvement and self-esteem and doing the work needed to fulfill your goals. I finally got the courage to apply myself to the field of personal training and submitted about thirty different applications in my area. Out of the thirty places, thirty called me back willing to interview me. Again, my self-esteem and body image issue kept me from taking action and I ignored them all. Here I was trying to get into the fitness industry with thirty local gyms and fitness businesses willing to take time out of their day to have me come in, and I threw them in the fire.

It was then that I knew I had an issue with more than just my self-esteem but the only way I’d be able to do what I really wanted to do was by just doing it. After burning the bridges of the local gyms, I entered the fitness industry with no experience and got to work. It was truly a difficult time in my life. I felt like I did not deserve to be considered a trainer and that people wouldn’t pay me to help get them fit. Through the negative self talk and low self-esteem, I stepped onto the battlefield of life and fought my way to a higher self-esteem.

Even still, my self-esteem is not a level I’d like to be at. The Dalai Lama said it was a shame for anyone to feel low about their self. In the Tibetan language they don’t even have a word for it. When he first heard of such a thing, he couldn’t understand what was being told to him. It took awhile before translators could get him to understand what they were telling him. This is because by nature we are each powerful and highly capable people. Able to do whatever we put our minds to. The locks and chains of low self-esteem has kept many great things from ever being discovered and has prevented all of us from doing or saying something we deeply desire to.

In my books and the Your Life Activated community, it is my mission to help others see the vast awesomeness within and to really believe that we are capable of such powerful and life changing things. We must recognize our self-esteem problems and admit the truth of such in order to be victorious over the negative talk that goes through our minds. To fight low self-esteem we need to take action on several areas of our life.

The conversations we tell ourselves in our minds can be a big reason why we might have low self-esteem. When I said to myself that I wasn’t capable of helping people lose weight, that was what my reality brought. I had no clients and no drive to do something about it. When I said to myself that I couldn’t drive a car, out of fear, I couldn’t drive a car and asked for others to drive. When we say things to ourselves in a pessimistic way, like “I know I’m going to fail”, that is what usually happens, we fail. Gaining control of the negative self talk within the mind is the first step in the fight against low self-esteem. We can’t predict the future so why bother creating it with negative thoughts?

When I finally decided that enough was enough and it was time for me to lace up my trainer sneakers and get my hands dirty, I made a commitment to myself that I would try my hardest and put in the work and if I failed, I failed, and that would be the end of it. I had decided to become willing to fail in my journey. When we fight our thoughts and go back and forth over making a decision to do something of importance, being willing to fail is a powerful tool to help persuade yourself that you can do it. Making the choice of being willing to fail has helped me do more things since that time than I could ever have imagined. Use this choice to help you fight low self-esteem.

I am a trainer. I am powerful. I am a great person. I am universal and infinite. I am in charge of my life. What you read there are affirmations, another great tool to help you overcome self-esteem. To combat the negative thinking we all go through in our minds, affirmations can be used to help you build the value of who you are and what you are capable of. I began using affirmations shortly after deciding I was willing to fail and have used them every single day since. You can search the internet and YouTube for videos, books, and articles detailing affirmations and how to use them. I highly suggest blasting away your low self-esteem with positive affirmation ammunition. I wrote this article that you can reference: 20 Daily Affirmations 

Above are only three of the many ways you can fight low self-esteem. There are infinite amounts of ways you can increase your self-esteem and in time, with work, you will see the changes. The truth is, you must make an effort to see this increase. You must be willing to do the things on a daily basis because like everything, without practice you won’t learn and by applying these three things into your life you add traction and through practice you create mastery and in time, you are an individual with high self-esteem. To learn more about self-esteem and self growth, check out the free Facebook group Your Life Activated. If you want help or have questions, comment below in the comment section or fill out the contact form.

What Are We Supposed To Do?

In life, what are supposed to do? What is the meaning of this existence on the Earth plane? Why are we working hard, making families, building skyscrapers, polluting the earth, enjoying sex, making music? What is the point of it all?

I don’t know, but here is my opinion on what we’re supposed to do…

We’re supposed to love and spread love.

We’re supposed to grow our knowledge and beliefs.

We’re supposed to move our bodies and use our energy.

We’re supposed to be savages in bed and in for survival.

We’re supposed to find our passions and live them freely.

We’re supposed to eat the food that Earth provides and not factories.

We’re supposed to let go of all that holds us back and breathe unrestricted.

We’re supposed to break barriers that we self create that stop us from growing.

We’re supposed to share our inner goodness with everyone, for the greater good of all.

In this life, we’re supposed to live our best life possible. To be activated and awake and alive. To be sincere, true to others and more importantly ourselves. We’re supposed to show compassion and empathy and work to improve the community of all instead of being narcissistic and egotistical.

In this life we’re supposed to live to the fullest. To reach over the mountain of perceived potential and climb over it into a new world. To lend a hand where one or thirty are needed. To care for those immobile or sickened. To not give a fuck about matters beyond our present moment, the moment in front of us. The moment we walk in.

There are many people who don’t know what we’re supposed to do. They don’t know how to fully live freely and expressively. We’re supposed to create. Create books, ballads, Broadway shows, football leagues, babies, solutions to garbage disposal, podcasts, YouTube videos, safer and more humane laws, borderless countries full of love and appreciation.

The problem is, we’re greedy. We’re evil. We’re angry and self seeking. The survival of the fittest mindset pushes us further away from what we’re supposed to be doing.

We’re supposed to live our lives activated. In control of our emotions, feelings, and actions. In control of the fear in our mind, the fear being broadcast across the world. In control of our inner demons, our battles with gluttony, jealousy, and envy.

What are we supposed to do?

Be our true and best self.

Leaning Into Your Fears

Today I am entering a new world of fighting my fear. Today I am accepting that I know nothing, that I am a newbie, and that I am going to be taken for a ride I know nothing about. Today I am leaning into my fear and taking action on a goal I set for myself. I am entering a new world to me, the world of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. I have never trained in any form of jiu-jitsu, wrestling, and I haven’t taken a martial art class since I was 13. Right now in my life I am at a point where I need to be challenged mentally and physically beyond the world of fitness, business, writing, and fatherhood. I am taking my self-improvement to a new arena and I admit, I am scared.

This is how many people feel when they first sign up for a fitness class or decide to get in shape. They have no idea what to expect and their minds and body are filled with fear. Many people never take the first step out of fear. They allow the fear in their mind to block their journey. Those fears are not real except that they dwell in the mind. It’s taken me several weeks to finally push the go button and as I’ve talked the talk, now I must walk the walk and experience this new world.

Leaning into my fear was the only way I would ever make the appointment and head to the location of this new training. I sat here pondering what it would be like, I listened to my fear, my body, my mind, other people, and I closed the browser window several times before entering my information to set up an appointment. It’s crazy how a simple thought with a desire to improve and learn can be fed with fear and nearly stop the momentum from moving forward. My ego fed my mind thoughts of injury, not knowing what I was doing, embarrassment, and getting my ass kicked. These thoughts and the fear it created wasn’t enough to ultimately stop me from taking the first step.

I leaned into my fears and accepted their presence, and my inner being, my spirit, my true self is strong enough to decide to take action. When starting something new, when creating change in life, it’s easy to have those feelings of embarrassment while fearing the unknown. Only you have the power to move beyond the barricades you set before yourself. Only you can take that first step. It starts with leaning in and charging ahead with the belief that anything is possible, as long as you try.

4 Important Beliefs That Will Let You Live A Happier Life

There are many people who operate with a fixed mindset. As Carol Dweck says in her best selling book “Mindset”, many people operate as if they are at their peak level of growth and think where they are is where they’ll be forever. Those people do not believe that they can improve their lives through education, relationships, fitness, careers, and more. The problem is, these beliefs are for the most part not true. We all have the power and ability to continuously learn, make better decisions, and improve our lives. We can also be happier, if we choose to be.

Here are 4 important beliefs to have that will help you live a happier life.

1. Happiness resides within your heart and mind.

Often we chase happiness through possessions and relationship or status, but this is a road that leads to a continuous cycle of failure. To be happier, believe you are already happy. It’s your choice. Once you begin to focus within for your happiness, you will see that everything you’ve searched for has been with you since the beginning.

2. The Past Doesn’t Define Who You Are Right Now.

You could have come from a very abusive household, marriage, a dead end career, a drug addicted teenage life, or any other circumstance and that past walks with you through life right now. The truth is, whatever happened back then does not define the person you are today. You can grow everyday or you can wither away everyday. That choice is yours. Your beliefs and actions of this moment can be completely different from five or ten years ago. Who you were or what you went through does not matter to your happiness in this moment. You are stronger than those situations.

3. You are strong and capable.

Many people underestimate the level of inner strength they have. The thing is, we never really notice our true strength until we’re faced with a situation that demands it. The important thing to remember is that if that need arises, you are strong enough. You are also capable enough to grow personally, professionally, emotionally, and beyond. You have a great power that resides within you and that power can bring you anything you desire. Believe you are happy and your heart and mind will stand strong and ready for any challenge thrown your way.

4. You can choose anything.

If you want a million dollars you can choose to get that million dollars. If you want to lose 50 pounds you can choose to lose those 50 pounds. The power of choice is within and how you use it will make a great impact on your life. If you want a happy life, you can quietly choose to be happy right now and maintain that happiness forever. Choose to be angry or sad, guilty or fearful, and you will operate on that level until you decide to change your attitude and make better choices.

Live a happier life by believing you are worthy of happiness, that you are who you are right here and now, that you are strong enough to handle anything life brings you, and choose to have a happier life. Keep these beliefs close to you and focus on them until they become a part of your everyday and who you are. I believe in you.

My Journey To A Peaceful Warrior Continues

A couple of years ago I read The Way of The Peaceful Warrior by Dan Millman. It’s an excellent book and since that time I have read nearly every book he has put out. Everyday Enlightenment was great and The Journey of Socrates was brilliant. Since I heard the term peaceful warrior, I have been slowly working on increasing my energy and improving my mind through focused action, writing, exercise, meditation, and mindfulness practices.

At times I forget that I am more powerful than my actions of the moment and fall into a trap of negativity or doubtfulness. It hasn’t been an easy ride and there has been resistance towards me improving. They say when we’re at a point of evolutionary growth that life can throw curve balls and make it seem like we’re in trouble or having hard times. It’s here that we must drop our shoulder and lean into the resistance. This is where our growth occurs.

To me, the term peaceful warrior stands for a man or woman who lives in their own terms. Someone who withdrawals themselves from the idle ways of the majority of society. Someone who grows professionally, personally, and spiritually. A peaceful warrior listens to those around them but still makes his own decisions. A peaceful warrior removes themselves from the “tick-tock” of the nine to five working world and above materialism, practicing minimalism and exercise, quality nutrition as well.

My journey continues and it has it’s hiccups but each day I move further and further down the path into the light and power of a peaceful warrior.

How Practicing Gratitude Can Bring You Happiness

If you’ve read any of my posts you might know that I was never a happy person. I was unappreciative, selfish, reclusive, and I lacked any positive desire in my life. One thing I never did was show my gratefulness towards others. When I was homeless and friends let me crash on their couch and eat their food, I never spoke with gratitude.

Around this time last year I was going through many emotions and mostly operated with a negative attitude. My business suffered. My relationship suffered and I suffered. This depression sent me into the ropes and I had no guard. I was on my way to getting knocked out of the race. Then one day I heard from a friend who helped changed my attitude and mindset and told me about gratitude journals. At this point, I heard about gratitude and how practicing it can help you become more in the moment and happier, but I didn’t fully believe it. I tried showing my gratitude by doing Wayne Dyer things like saying “Thank you thank you thank you” when waking up each more and it was helping, but once I started writing in my journal each day, my life changed.

In the time I’ve been keeping up with my journal, I write three things down that I am grateful for everyday. At first it was kind of boring and I felt a little weird doing it. I wondered what people would think if they opened it and read it, but I kept doing it. Then one day I felt my life and attitude change. I’m not sure exactly what happened within my mind and body, but my intentions, actions, reactions, thoughts, and feelings seemingly changed overnight. I woke up a happier person.

I once read that gratitude starts a change reaction to happiness and Oprah once said “Be thankful for what you have and you’ll have more.”. Many self improvement teachers of the old days believed that our gratefulness towards what’s in our lives is the key to happiness and in my experience, I too believe it is a doorway down the path of a happier life. It’s simple to begin to practice gratitude. Find a notebook and begin writing down three things everyday that you are grateful for. You might just open a new world of happiness.

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How To Use Your Subconscious For Happiness

In the day to day struggle many people have with being happy, there is a shortcut to finally realizing that happiness is within already, at this moment. The power of our subconscious mind is tremendous and unfortunately, many people do not understand how to use, or even know that we can. If you’re struggling to live a happy life you’ll probably benefit from learning how to harness the power of the mind.

During our day to day functions we predominately use our conscious mind for things like eating, walking, working, showering, and talking to other people. The whole time your subconscious is pumping your heart, shedding your skin, relaying you vital information, creating your experiences and more. It’s also listening very closely to what you, the conscious mind, is saying.

It hears things like, “life is hard”, “I am broke.”, “I just want to be happy.” and what the subconscious mind is hearing, thinking, and relaying is life is hard, you’re broke, and you’re not happy. Therefore, it produces experiences that align with the commands it’s getting.

Check back through your conversations or inner thoughts and see if you say things that align unhappiness with your life. If so, it’s simple to fix but requires effort and time. To live with happiness, speak of happiness. That means, say things like “I am happy” or “I am a happy person” and the subconscious will begin to reflect those commands back in ways that help you live a happier life.

For more on this, check out our free facebook group at Your Life Activated.

The Monkey on Your Back

I have a blood sucking vampie  turd nugget of a monkey on my back. He’s bringing back past emotions and feelings in a situation I dealt with and he’s crushing everything about me. Some days I can’t think straight. Other days I don’t want to work, workout, eat, be with my family, and I had enough. I wrote about destroying the monkey on your back in my facebook group Your Life Activated  this morning and thought I’d share some of it here.

The monkey on my back is suffocating my happiness and fighting to steal my attention and crush my spirits. It’s been a few months of back and forth battles for attention and the monkey was winning. Today, I woke up and decided to grab that little fucker by the throat and chuck him across the room. He’s taken up too much real estate and too much of my valuable time that I can’t let him fuck with me anymore. This morning, I launched the monkey on back straight into the wall and felt a relief. I decided to not let those emotions and feelings affect me anymore.

It wasn’t long until he came back. He jumped right up and impregnated my mind with past events that I can’t control or change and tried to mess me up again. I can tell it’s going to be a mission to remove the monkey from my life for good, but at least I’m conscious of this and working to move on.

The monkey on your back is a problem you can’t get over, a burden you carry around with you, or emotions and feelings that occupy your attention. The thought of whatever the issue is can easily control your life if you allow it and I have been falling into that trap. The only way to move beyond this is by recognizing it and destroying the monkey on your back. Forgive yourself for anything related to the issue. If others are involved, forgive them as well. See the thoughts and feelings as a physical monkey on your back and choke that bastard and toss him across the room. Claim your power and let it know it won’t control your life any longer. Easier said than done but each time you experience those thoughts or feelings, repeat the step until you’ve conditioned yourself of not allowing it to capture your attention.

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