I got it now. It makes complete sense. For the past few weeks I’ve filled this blog with forty or so drafts. Half completed, half assed posts about nothing at all. Just complete gibberish in the form of nothing more than practice. Why? Why am I stuck here with nothing purposeful to say? Where am I helping people by sharing my story and creating a positive momentum for them to move forward in life?
Nothing but useless meander. No direction of where I want to take this blog. Worrying about the “niche” I want to help. Like that matters. Not to me. Not to my writing. But trying hard to find people who would benefit has turned my world upside down and around again. Should I write for moms who work? Should I write for men who have a hard time feeling worthy in life? Maybe instead I should write to entrepreneurs in the local area who might need assistance growing their business.
Excuse my language, it’s art by the way, but fuck that. I’m writing for you. The person who finds the time to sit here and read this post. The person who might be doing something totally different from me but still gets inspired by the words on the screen. Lately, no lie, I’ve been in a pretty dark place. Slightly depressed, tired, overwhelmed, and bored. Much of the material I’ve been reading is boring and I realize the only reason I’m reading it is because “they” said I should. Sure the books are teaching me a lot about the human mind, propaganda, writing, and a bunch of other bologna, but it’s not me. It’s drowning my writing.
If you were to look at the drafts on this blog you’d see me writing about the muse being gone. On vacation with an umbrella drink, feet kicked up on a straw ottoman, shades on, waves rolling in. But that is nothing more than a stupid excuse of my boredom and minor depressed state.
It’s time to get back to work and do what I’ve been doing so well, or at least in my opinion. However I enjoy practicing this craft and much of that practice will one day make an incredible comic strip or novella. Right now though, my message, the wisdom and knowledge I’ve learned along the bumpy ride, the stories of the life and events I’ve been through and what they taught me will take center stage. I’m getting back to work. No more excuses or pity parties.