Most of my life, fear has kept me from doing more. Knowing I haven’t come close to what I am capable of, as a result of feeding my fears, has left me angry for accepting it and not being “man” enough to fight them. For over a year I kept this blog in the dark along with a new Facebook page, fearing nobody would read it, when in reality, that doesn’t matter.
As a child I had a fear for everything- from riding a bike with no hands to talking to girls. Recently this year I’ve had a fear of public speaking. I have wanted to get up on stage or in front of others and share my story, like I did to a small crowd in June, but fear of not having a worthy topic has held me back, even when those in attendance told me it was good.
Fear has kept many words off of this site and a true story in the shadows for so long. In the past two years I have thrown away over a hundred fifty thousand words on four different blogs, quit on 10 different goals, stopped dead in my tracks halfway through 2 different eBooks, and cancelled several events at my gym- all because of fear.
The other day I was meditating and listening to a guided tape when I came across a wise man, who in my meditation was seen as an old Chinese sage and I was to ask him- “What is stopping me?” and as I listened to my thoughts the only thing that came after a brief moment was- “You fear success.”
If I didn’t fear success, I would have two eBooks, 4 different blogs with 100′s of posts, my goals would’ve been met and life would be greatly different.
Needless to say, dealing with fear is on the front of the list for 2014 goals.
One day at a time.
So in 2014 the first thing I am doing to fight my fear of success is holding a seminar at my gym where I’ll tell my story, talk about goal setting and motivation, and stand in front of several people.. public speaking.. for free.
Stepping outside of my comfort zone is something that I will be doing more of this year. I’m joining the local toastmasters, I’ll be making videos, and I’ll be writing my true life story for everyone to see..
Here are a few ways together we can fight fear in 2014:
Find a quiet place during a time where you have an hour to simply relax and work on meditating. Follow your breathing and don’t worry about your thoughts. Your mind will be going 150 miles an hour and for now that’s okay. As you practice and begin to let go of your thoughts you’ll relax and clear your mind, relieve stress, and feel better. Once you finish with your daily meditation session, think about your fears and what you can do to tackle them. As you calm yourself through meditation you will see that your fears are just a circumstance your mind and ego is creating.
2. Do it anyway.
I have to credit my friend Paul Reddick for this. He mentioned this one day and ever since that moment I have been finding the strength to say whatever and do it anyway. Once I realized how powerful that was I acted on several goals and set dates for events and wrote on this blog. If it wasn’t for that one post when he talked about accepting the fear and doing it anyway I would not be writing this post. Take your fear and picture 1 thing you can do to overcome it. Then do it. Even if you’re afraid to.
3. Don’t worry about the outcome. It doesn’t matter.
Okay maybe if you have a fear of heights the outcome of falling matters, but if you fear starting a business in 2014 because you’re afraid you’ll fail you need to let that go and see #2. Failure is a part of the process and to everyone, failure is different. I opened a warehouse gym this year and still feel my business failed. It’s perspective and it doesn’t matter. What matters is you still trying, living the moment, and feeling happy.
4. Take small steps.
For example, I want to do some speaking events about my story. I’m starting small with 10 people at my gym for free. After this event I will look back over my performance and see what I can change, what I did good, and how those in attendance react to the event. I’ll do the work needed to improve it and go to step 2. Doing it again. When you break down overcoming your fear into different steps it will allow you to see the work that needs to be done and as you realize it’s not too much for you to handle you’ll be more willing to act.
“All you need is the plan, the roadmap, and the courage to press on to your destination.” ― Earl Nightingale
And the results don’t matter. The time will pass just like it does now. Whether you try or not is up to you. Either you succeed or fail and there is nothing stopping you from trying again, and again if you have to. Fear has done a lot to my life that hasn’t been productive because I allowed the time to pass with no action, instead, going into my shell. Dealing with our fear is one of our most important journey’s in life. Crush it and stand proud or scour and hide. Either way, the world keeps turning.